Date: 4/28/2012 11:38:58 PM ( 10 y ) ... viewed 12306 times
Its been 4 long a grueling days since I've had any smack. I'm climbing the walls just thinking and what one small guy could do for me. All the pain would just... Go away... I've gotten through the worst of the withdrawals. The first 48 hours I thought I was going to die. I tore my room apart looking for smack. Need just enough to get another hit. To make me stop hurting. To make the thoughts and voices in my head just go away... I searched until I was physically drained and passed out on the floor, unable to move or think. I'm reaching a stable point finally but this is going to be a long battle of will, that will never be fully won. This will always be a battle. Every day. My relationship with my fiance is on the line. The look I see in his face, of hurt and disappointment breaks my heart. I hurt him, with my need to get high, to feel good and just forget the world. The I cravings drive me insane and i take out my anger, confusion, and frustration out on him.
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