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Near Dusk in the Garden
Reflections on a day seeking and making
a bit more of order.
Date: 5/29/2010 10:44:51 PM ( 14 y ) ... viewed 1061 times
8:30 pm
May 29, 2010
I have been working for a many hours getting
some semblance of order.
I elected not to go out to a wonderful party.
I said I would be here tomorrow
for a gathering.
I am not sure how many are coming over,
but I will be here.
There is a deep need for foundation
under my visions.
Some of the structures that give me order
are out of order, including Iphoto.
I have numbers of albums with no
coherence of date due to technology breakdowns,
and then putting things back in some old albums
out of order.
I felt some energy when I got a complete on
photos from the California Student Sustainability Coalition,
and a bunch of things on Biosmart, my sponsor.
Yesterday, I had to get two new tires unexpectedly,
the front left was coming apart at the seams and was dangerous.
I have not been this low on funds in my business account
for numbers of years.
This feels more like a contractive time that expansive.
I was not into putting too much energy into the gathering tomorrow
due to my energy being on the cleanup.
My thoughts are not coherent I can see.
There are numbers of places where I have been
requesting support on Facebook.
I see where some have responded so i took time to
order these places and then respond to those who may
want to come over tomorrow.
There is a big cloud overhead.
I am feeling anxious about the need for impending shifts here
that seem beyond my human capacity right now.
I am not doing well interacting with other housemates now.
Part of me wants to clean up and just organize.
This is coming after six months of being out in the world.
I keep looking to see how the world is doing.
The Gulf captures my attention.
The Videos today of Cousteau underwater are profound.
We have created a toxic soup where no living thing,
such as a fish, could likely survive.
Truly this is profound what we have done.
Some here may still be oblivious to what we have done.
I came upon a photo art of Gabriel Counsens praying
in the little room that is again for rent.
It would be good if I could find the photos of that room.
My housemate who is now in there is not prepared to show the room.
I also came upon some incredible images of the garden here
and the house.
I am surprised that there have been no calls from SDSU students.
I am uploading this page from an old Szekely book that
gives me strength.
I feel in part like a turtle that wants to draw in and come
out in a new environment, possibly, not this place.
This is the feeling I sense.
I like these pages from the Szekely "Whole Wheat Paper" Books.
After reading these pages,
I went out in the closing moments of dusk,
and ate some fruit off the loquat tree.
I left a few from Christy Boyd who may come over tomorrow.
Youth is needed here,
and deep strength is asked from inside.
8:43 pm
May 29, 2010
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