8:30 pm
May 29, 2010


I have been working for a many hours getting
some semblance of order.

I elected not to go out to a wonderful party.

I said I would be here tomorrow
for a gathering.

I am not sure how many are coming over,
but I will be here.

There is a deep need for foundation
under my visions.

Some of the structures that give me order
are out of order, including Iphoto.

I have numbers of albums with no
coherence of date due to technology breakdowns,
and then putting things back in some old albums
out of order.

I felt some energy when I got a complete on
photos from the California Student Sustainability Coalition,
and a bunch of things on Biosmart, my sponsor.

Yesterday, I had to get two new tires unexpectedly,
the front left was coming apart at the seams and was dangerous.

I have not been this low on funds in my business account
for numbers of years.

This feels more like a contractive time that expansive.

I was not into putting too much energy into the gathering tomorrow
due to my energy being on the cleanup.

My thoughts are not coherent I can see.
There are numbers of places where I have been
requesting support on Facebook.

I see where some have responded so i took time to
order these places and then respond to those who may
want to come over tomorrow.

There is a big cloud overhead.
I am feeling anxious about the need for impending shifts here
that seem beyond my human capacity right now.

I am not doing well interacting with other housemates now.

Part of me wants to clean up and just organize.

This is coming after six months of being out in the world.

I keep looking to see how the world is doing.

The Gulf captures my attention.

The Videos today of Cousteau underwater are profound.
We have created a toxic soup where no living thing,
such as a fish, could likely survive.

Truly this is profound what we have done.

Some here may still be oblivious to what we have done.

I came upon a photo art of Gabriel Counsens praying
in the little room that is again for rent.

It would be good if I could find the photos of that room.

My housemate who is now in there is not prepared to show the room.

I also came upon some incredible images of the garden here
and the house.

I am surprised that there have been no calls from SDSU students.

I am uploading this page from an old Szekely book that
gives me strength.

I feel in part like a turtle that wants to draw in and come
out in a new environment, possibly, not this place.
This is the feeling I sense.

I like these pages from the Szekely "Whole Wheat Paper" Books.

After reading these pages,
I went out in the closing moments of dusk,
and ate some fruit off the loquat tree.

I left a few from Christy Boyd who may come over tomorrow.

Youth is needed here,
and deep strength is asked from inside.


8:43 pm
May 29, 2010






 

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