You have to start somewhere by MissW Blog entry

Blog: Miss W’s Big Adventure
by MissW

You have to start somewhere

getting healthier

Date: 2/7/2010 7:22:41 PM ( 14 y ) ... viewed 1244 times

I blame it on my crap response to my Father's death almost a year ago. A bit of it on my anger toward the allopathic community in not seeing his hip pain and edema as sure signs that his cancer had returned, this time with a vengeance. I discovered the correlation on Google right after my Dad let me know the bad news. Really, blame is the wrong word, because gone is gone and there is no rewind, baby.

I had just started a new job in Oct of 2008 and two weeks later my Father called to let me know that his cancer had come back and that it didn't look so hot. Then he proceeded to tell me possibly one of the funniest jokes I have ever heard in my life. I stood there next to my car in a parking lot, laughing like a madwoman with tears running down my face when my new boss pulled up next to me. He must have thought I was loony.That would be the only time that I cried in front of anyone for the next few months. I tried to be supportive to my parents but everything just seemed to spiral ever downward with Vitamin C IVs just making him sicker and sicker. Hospice came and made him comfortable, or at least as comfortable as one can be with impending death. So glad he was home with my Mom.

I had problems focusing on the huge amount of details involved in my new job (sales) but loved the fact that I could "play a role" and be charming and non-plussed when making sales calls. I started to rely on ephedra for focus and my consumption went up week after week. No weight loss, just able to think, to not weep everywhere I went, to bottle up what I needed to bottle up during business hours.

I went home in February to say goodbye to him. It was truly a blessing to have been there to take care of him and nap with him and love him in his final days. A holy experience and one I am grateful to have had. My Mom and I kept telling him to "let go" and one night when I was there he motioned for us to lie on the bed with him, with him in between us. We all lied there on our backs holding hands and I finally looked over to see him squinching his face up and clenching his hands when it occurred to me that he was trying his damndest to let go. I started laughing as did he and my Mom and for one silly last moment we were all a family laughing as though nothing were wrong. I left 3 days later. He died the next day. We had a memorial on the Summer Solstice (my dear pagan Poppa) which also happened to be Father's Day. Nice.

After his death I still kept on with the ephedra, scared to give it up because I thought for sure I would lose focus. I rationalised it because it was an herb, natural and purchased at a vitamin store that it wouldn't screw me up. Ha. I finally gave it up in August. The day after I did so I was driving on the freeway with my boyfriend when a pickup truck that had just had a high-speed blowout careened straight toward my car, narrowly missing us. My boyfriend was screaming in fear but I had no fight or flight response. Nothing. I could have been sitting in a chair at home asleep for all it phased me. I realised I really had a problem to overcome. It was hard at first but little by little my body became used to life au naturel.

But. BUT. I am still exhausted. And since then I have slowly gained weight in spite of eating cleanly and sanely and working out. My body temp has been low, my blood pressure is ridiculously low (95/45). I need to start somewhere. And that somewhere is here.

So, over the course of the last month I have started iodine supplementation, along with companion supplements and I began taking adrenal glandular support. Although I am not a completely new woman, I am much improved. I'm eating enough protein (all organic/non-farmed)and organic veggies and fruits, lots of yummy fats and each lb lost elicits a wee victory dance (only 2 lbs so far, but hey...progress is progress).

I did a salt push this morning and an epsom salt bath and my body temp has been 98.6 most of the day. I intend to feel like a million bucks as soon as possible. And, maybe, just maybe, my tale will help someone else along the way.

And that is that.