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Day 8
And then my mom called...
Date: 2/2/2009 12:51:36 AM ( 15 y ) ... viewed 2076 times 2/1/09 10:30 a.m. – Well here I am on day 8, and it’s hard for even me to believe that I haven’t eaten in 7 days. Again the SWF was no problem and I’m just waiting for it to do its thing. I think I may have made a crucial error though. I’ve been so focused on the fact that I’m getting closer to finishing this cleanse, that all I can seem to think about is how much longer I have until the end. Yes it’s only 3 days, but in real time, if all you do is think about how much time is left, it tends to drag on. I really need to try and distract myself today, and not think about time in terms of finishing this cleanse. I’m on my own today; my boys are with their mother, so this may prove to be a challenge. I need to be creative in inventing activities to keep my mind occupied but I’m sure I’ll think of something. Maybe I’ll take a drive or hit some golf balls, either way my work is cut out for me today.
Oddly enough, the one thing that I miss the most, while on this cleanse, is the freedom to see anyone or go anywhere. Not that my world ever revolved around food, but it is a normal part of a healthy social life. This Superbowl Sunday, for example, I decided not go and visit my friend. There just would have been too much temptation, and frankly I don’t care that much about football to put myself through that. Usually when I go to a Superbowl party I’m not even watching the game, I’m off to the side talking to my friends and enjoying their company and the food.
7:00 p.m. – Oh man, I just had the conversation that I had been dreading. My mom called and asked me what I’d like to do tomorrow for my birthday. At first she suggested going out to dinner, so I said “Well uh, we don’t have to go out for dinner, that’s not necessary.” Her next suggestion was to have the family over for cake and ice cream, so again I said “Well, we could have them over, however I’m not going to be eating any cake or ice cream” and then she blew me away and said ”Oh you’re not eating…are you doing some kind of a cleanse or something?” I searched franticly for any sign of sarcasm, and found none. First, I didn’t think that she even knew what a “cleanse” was, let alone be able to recognize someone who’s on one. She’s not what you would call with it, or even mildly informed but I guess I stand corrected. So I said “Yeah I am, how did you know?” and she replied “Oh, well I don’t know, I mean if you’re not eating then maybe you’re doing one of those cleanses thingies” bizarre. Well as I’m typing this she called again asking about arrangements, and I got the feeling that she felt I bit frustrated as she was going to have to work around my strange non-eating experience. She sounded a little irritated; now that’s the mom I’m used to. It reminds me of a friend of mine. When her mother found out that she and her sister were becoming vegetarian, she had a difficult time adjusting because so many of their family gatherings were revolved around having dinner. Now instead of making beef or ham, she needed to be aware that 2 out of her 3 children weren’t eating meat. Not only that but their friend, me, was also not eating meat. She doesn’t respond well to change, but she reached deep within herself and decided to make macaroni and cheese. It was very good and she seemed to be happy that we were happy.
10:25 p.m. What a bizarre evening. About 8 o’clock I started to feel really depressed and was really feeling tempted to eat. I just wanted to be done with this cleanse so bad, I didn’t care one way or the other. So I was making some lemonade and, of course I’m in the kitchen, I started taunting myself. I said, “You know, you could just eat a piece of bread, its right there, it’d be very easy and so delicious” I had to get out the kitchen and talk myself out of eating, scary! In Glickman’s book he describes days 2-3 and day 7 as major detox days, and that this is when the majority of people seem to quit. He says that you can bet on experiencing major detox symptoms, anything from boredom and hunger to irritability and depression. Well funny thing is that for me my worse day was day 4, and here I am on day 8 feeling really tested. Maybe I’m a day behind, damn because I hate being late.
Well I made it another day, thanks, in no small part, to the love and support of my friends and family. I suppose that I should be ashamed of myself for thinking that they would be anything other than supportive. I’m going to put myself on a time out after writing this. I’m feeling great, despite the fact that not more than 3 hours ago I almost quit; that’s another testament to the power of the mind. I know that the despair and cravings that I was feeling were detox symptoms and I’m glad they’re gone. Tomorrow should be a great day, not only will I be on day 9 but it’ll be my birthday, happy birthday to me.
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