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Moral Victory Yesterday
Long Blog...writing out issues of late. Worth the read.
Date: 10/26/2008 10:10:08 AM ( 16 y ) ... viewed 1354 times
October 26, 08
7:23 AM
I had a moral victory yesterday.
Thursday and Friday I was near obsessing
getting a complete on the Recent High Holiday activity.
In the backdrop was an uncomfortable email response
from my ally Rabbi Stan. I had asked Exec Director Peggi
for an additional $100.00, for photos and work done
at the Yom Kippur. I came up with a photo that was likely
the best Peggi had every had in her life.
I figured that the time I put in, and just the principle
of doing so much felt like it needed a little more balancing.
Peggi said yes to the $100.00. Then I got an email from Rabbi Stan.
He said he would discuss it with Peggi when he came home from his work trip.
He said that he appreciated the photos I did, but the way to do that was
if I wanted to be paid for photos, the best way to do it was negotiate in
advance for a fee.
That is a normal way to do things.
In that case, I was so behind the eight ball energetically when I went up there
the first time for part one, Rosh Hashanan, that I wasn't sure I even wanted to go back.
Then my spirit kicked it. I prepared a whole lot of new things and art projects.
I left the cleanup and gave four solid days to regaining my power that I felt I lost.
On the second day of Rosh Hashanah, the community meets for a service
at the WIll Rogers Beach. I wanted to go to that. I drove the EG Mobile from Rina's
house to the Debbie Friedman event, and then to the beach nearby.
During the Debbie Friedman event, the spirit was so high, that I was inspired
to bring out my camera. It was a glorious outpouring of spirit. There is
a capacity on my Olympus 5050C to take a video, albeit not the best quality.
I did some of that as well.
During the days between coming home for Rosh Hashanan and going back up
to LA for the Yom Kippur. I created a new montage for the B'nai Horin Prayer Book.
I assemled the photos into an Artwork honoring the upcoming 40th Anniversary.
It took about seven hours to make a sense. Then, I did a few others projects.
I made a Momento booklet for Peggi using the New Hewlett Packard Technology
down at Staples. It had some pages where people could write love notes to Peggi.
I have a deep wound regarding my relationship to Judaism.
My positive experiences with the B'nai Horin Community are some of the closest
feelings I have hallowing this wound. My Soul really comes out of hiding.
This year at the Rosh Hashanan, I was again feeling this sense of isolation.
I felt ineffective in my goals to share about KEEP the BEET.
Then, when I went to the beach, halfway through the service, I had an urge.
The closest bathroom was about a 1/2 mile walk. By the time, I got there,
I had to change my underclothes. I went to the EG Mobile. I was downtrodden.
I wasn't sure I could change and get back to the beach. I just waited for my friend
Ariella Shira to come back to the vehicle. I missed the rest of the communal experience.
I was an outsider again.
We do the services at the Brandeis Bardin Temple of the Book in Simi Valley.
I had left many of my things up there on my table. A big part of me wanted to
go up the following day and get my things. I was ready to call it quits for the year
and not come back for the Yom Kippur part two ten days later.
I was having intermittent need for a bathroom all the way home.
It really feels like bottoming out when I do not know if I can count on my body
to let me complete something.
My Bowel Management Issues become prevalent in many Fall and Winter times.
It seems that when the weather changes, or even does not change, my meridians go South.
I do not have the same energy as I have in Spring and Summer.
Doing things, using my talents, heals me.
Communicating an idea to others that I have prepared heals me.
This year it has been about KEEP the BEET Media Star most of the year.
Grow a Beet Plant in a Pot. You will gain confidence you can grow a bit of your own food
through doing this.
The Yom Kippur was a moral victory.
We have a new lady co-rabbi, Laura.
Rabbi Stan, a dear friend, wanted to make sure she had plenty of time to
offer her inspirations. Stan had told me going in, expect less time to
express.
I made the most of one poem, an old poem that I worked over from the 90's.
REACH HIGH. REACH DEEP. I added KEEP THE BEET.
At the Rosh Hashanan, I went up there with only 48 hours prep time.
That wasn't enough. My head was distracted by numbers of things, including
the Bowel Management Issues.
At Yom Kippur Rabbi Stan always gives me some time in the final service
called Neilah. It is my kind of service. It follows Yiskor, a time of deep
reverance for souls no longer with us. The Neilah is held outside in a
lovely Open Ampitheater that views canyons. Rabbi Stan always gives
me time to express.
I had the kids work with KEEP the BEET. Lisa, one of the mom's made
a chant to the words REACH DEEP. REACH HIGH. KEEP the BEET.
She led the group in singing it. It was fulfilling.
I also made this little video with Lisa and the kids earlier in the day.
You can see it here.
[Add link later...]
So that is how it goes.
My dear, dear friends Lee and Ruth were at the Neilah.
More than a dozen years ago, I gave Ruth a small little Lemon Verbena plant.
The plant now overshadows her backyard. She is an Enchanted Garden convert.
Lee does my taxes every year as a gift.
Ruth brought enough Lemon Verbena for everyone to have a piece in the Closing Neilah
circle. Lemon Verbena is a natural anti-depressant. It has a lovely fragrant uplifting smell.
Ruth spoke a bit too about her Lemon Verbena and the story of the little plant
that was now so large. Everyone was in shock and needed an anti-depressant.
Many wanted to grow it. Next year, I will bring up a tray with instructions.
That was a triumph for me to hear Ruth and she the reception.
I also had a a bowel full of little beets. I got them in the final minutes of the Farmers Market
from Joe Rodriguez Jr the weekend before here in San Diego. They were right on the table
at the tail end of the market. What a Godsent. Rina had suggested I bring up some
beets to give away to drive my point home of what I was asking.
I have been asking the members of the B'nai Horin community to grow things
for more than fifteen years. This was a very effective communication, although
I did not have explain thoroughly what I was asking.
You can see what I am asking each person to do in this artwork:
Get a local organic beet from an organic farmer. plant it in a pot.
KEEP the BEET. Eat the greens.
I am not sure too many people fully understood.
For the Pacific Symposium, I will have KEEP the BEETs already in pots
for those who want them.
When I came home, one of the burning issues was:
Can I do the Pacific Symposium November 5-10?????
I have been writing about last week.
Was my Bowel going to allow me to do it?
One of the key's to committing to do it
was Tiffany Hansen, the program director of the Pacific Symposium.
Tiffany is one of the loveliest people I know.
I caught up with her a day after I came home
from Yom Kippur. My bowel was in chaos.
I told her I wasn't sure.
Then, I had a pretty good week getting some solutions.
The main remedy that has made a difference
was Essential Gultamine Powder from Iron Tek.
Warren Sheir, a supervisor and old ally in the PCOM Clinic
recommended it. it was working, until last Friday!!!!
I was Tiffany last Monday as well when I went down to PCOM.
She was behind the eight ball with her own prep work.
She was concerned if "Leslie" could the beautiful elements
for the conference.
I did not want to let her down. I was touched that It mattered.
That was I did was important to the conference. That was healing.
Everyone needs to be Valued to be healthy. Everyone, who has
a Health Issue, needs to feel they are useful.
WHAT HAPPENED AT CITY FARMERS NURSERY YESTERDAY...
Part Three....
City Farmers Uplift
http://curezone.com/blogs/fm.asp?i=1285148
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