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The Feeling of Being Left Out and Included
Do I dare drive over to the Blooms?
Date: 7/15/2008 1:23:42 PM ( 16 y ) ... viewed 1284 times
11:09 AM
July 15, 08
I am in touch with some very deep feelings.
There is a man who reached out to me last night
at the wedding of Zvi and Erin Bloom.
He was sleeping in a tent in the yard of the Blooms.
He intended to leave last night, but he drank too much.
I have been calling the Bloom's.
I may have gotten through once, but someone hung up.
Maybe it was a wrong number I called.
I don't think so.
No one is answering.
They are likely in a lovely family private gathering
and do not wish any calls.
It is not even going into Voicemail.
Gosh, I would like to see that man again who reached out to me.
I am tempted to go over there to see if he is still here,
but I do not want to invade.
It is amazing the intensity of the feelings that are coming up.
This is part of my Original Wound I am sure,
the feeling of being left out and wanting to be included.
I would so like to invite that man over here before he leaves
driving back to New York.
I am playing The Cleansing now form RIki Newell.
Tis is a very emotional piece that can bring peace.
It is so soulfully inspired and heartfelt, this piece of music.
Do I dare drive over there to the Blooms?
Zvi told me there was likely a Chevra Brockra over there tonight.
I would like to go. I feel imcomplete.
Isn't it extraordinary how we have to be a certain way to be included?
When I walked in, all the men were gathered in one room.
The rabbi was directed Zvi to sign the Katubah, the wedding contract.
I have much other work today, but this feels so very important right now.
I am going to pick up the photos to complete the MVH thing.
I need to call Apple
to find out hhe turnaround time.
I am not in a space to Visit Apple or the Apple Tree.
I want to reach out. I want more of what I saw last night.
It was so deeply Tribal. So deeply deep. I see where I get those
traits from. Tney come from my roots. THey stem from what I saw last eve.
---
I congratulated Zvi's mother.
She made a point of saying how important I was to Zvi.
That felt good.
Later in the eve at the celebration dinner,
a roomf ull of people, i finally got a chance to have some words
with Zvi. His father was right there.
He shooshed me away, and said go eat.
Later he came up and apologized for shooshing me away.
He said that Zvi had been fasting all day, and this was his chance to eat.
Soon after, he was in the dance again.
I carried one plant over to the main table where he and his new bride
were sitting. It was a Lemon Verbena.
In the room where the ...
NO point writing more...
I wnat to drive over there.
Deep emotions.
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