Gratitude: Awakening the Heart
"The eyes of my eyes are opened."
--e.e. cummings
Has this ever happened to you? You pick up a book and a sentence leaps off the page as if it had been written just for you. Or you hear a revelation in the lyrics of a song. Sometimes an angel seems to whisper in your ear.
One ordinary morning I realized I was emotionally and physically exhausted from concentrating on things I wanted to buy but couldn't afford. I felt trapped in a vicious circle. The more I focused on lack and on what I couldn't have, the more depressed I became. The more depressed I became the more I focused on lack. My soul whispered that what I really yearned for was not financial security but financial serenity. I was still--quiet enough to listen. At that moment I acknowledged the deep longing in my heart. What I hungered for was an inner peace that the world could not take away. I asked for help and committed to following wheresoever Spirit would lead me. For the first time in my life I discarded my five-year goals and became a seeker, a pilgrim, a sojourner.
When I surrendered my desire for security and sought serenity instead, I looked at my life with open eyes. I saw that I had much for which to be grateful. I felt humbled by my riches and regretted that I look for granted the abundance that already existed in my life. How could I expect more from the Universe when I didn't appreciate what I already had?
Immediately I made an inventory of my life's assets: my health, a wonderful husband, a beautiful and happy daughter, their health, our home (small but comfortable), and three precious pets who daily bring me faithful companionship and great joy. There's always plenty of good food on the table and wine in the pantry. We are also blessed with many wonderful friends who care deeply about us and share in our lives.
Once I started, my list grew. I loved my work; it was being sent out into the world and had been well received. Many women had let me know that my first book had enriched their lives. I truly believe that what you give to the world will be returned to you--maybe not all at once or in the way you expect it--but if you give your very best, the very best will come back to you. Now was the moment to live my beliefs.
When I looked at my life's ledger I realized I was a very rich woman. What I was experiencing was merely a temporary cash-flow problem. Finally, I came to an inner awareness that my personal net worth couldn't possibly be determined by the size of my checking account balance. Neither can yours.
It doesn't matter how awareness arrives. What matters is that it comes. My heart began to overflow with gratefulness. I started giving thanks for everything: daisies in a jelly jar on my kitchen windowsill, the sweet fragrance of my daughter's hair, the first sip of tea in the morning, pork roast with apples and cranberries for Sunday supper, hearing the words "I love you" before I went to sleep. Each day began to offer me authentic moments of pleasure and contentment. But hadn't they before? The difference was that I was now noticing and appreciating each day's gifts. The power of gratefulness caught me by surprise.
All I ask you to do today is to open "the eyes of your eyes" and give your life another glance. Are your basic needs met? Do you have a home? Food on the table? Clothes to wear? Is there a regular paycheck coming in? Do you have dreams? Do you have your health? Can you walk, talk, see the beauty that surrounds you, listen to music that stirs your soul or makes your feet want to boogie? Do you have family and friends whom you love and who love you?
Then pause for a moment and give thanks. Let your heart awaken to the transforming power of gratefulness. Be open to exchanging your need for emotional and financial security for serenity. "No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made," Agnes de Mille reminds us. "Destiny is made known silently."
