I have no idea why you or your mother were not invited to funerals. I do know that your solution to being unwanted is to want others is incorrect. It's like trying to force someone to fall in love with you. It CANNOT be done.

Currently, I'm doing research on the long-term psychological effects on children who were never wanted by their primary care-takers (usually a mother) and how I found your blog. I'm doing this to try and find others in the same situation as I. So far, I've not read about or know of any other "well-adjusted" humans who were never loved just because they are alive. There are many out of the norm people with that experience in prisons and/or mental institutions.

Although your "solution" to being unwanted is heartfelt, a person who truly neglects and does not want her child will not change. There is something missing in her psyche.