I came here looking for "how to heal yourself of being unwanted"

I was an unwanted child. My mother admitted this to me before she died of cancer when I was 16. My father was not much in the picture after I was two years old.

Admittedly, I do have abuse issues from my mother's brief marriage to her second husband, when I was 4 to 6 yrs old.

I have felt unwanted all my life. I have been told that I am ugly, loud and fat, as well as accused of being too much like a guy.

I am extremely giving, which has led to being extremely used.

I have chased relationships with friends and family. Wanting to be wanted. Wanting to be loved. All it has led to is feeling more and more alone and isolated.

People just perceive one as "needy" or "clingy." They do not want someone on "their case load."

I have a husband and now a new son. My husband tells me that he wants me. My son also clearly demonstrates that he wants me. I still feel a huge hole in my being because I know my relatives really for the most part don't care unless they need something from me.

Maybe, I am missing your point. I want to be wanted but I feel like that need has done more to drive people away from me rather than towards me. People do not like desperation in any form.

Am I missing something?