What helps me is getting in two pounds of fresh organic greens each day.
I blend them in the Vitamix, then strain them through a paint strainer, then chill them and flavor with peppermint and stevia ... so now they are cold, icy, sweet, minty.
Then I can drink as is or add other things such as lemon and lime juice, fresh ginger, etc.
I stir in superfoods such as spirulina, blue-green algae, Vitamineral Green.
It sounds like your obsession is like being thrown through a few dynamics.
1) If bloated, there is a desire to PUSH food through your system to ease the bloat.
2) If eating ANY grains, you are getting an opiate rush (grains have 19 different opiates in them) so you are TOTALLY in a drug brain state ... I understand; been there, done that.
3) A desire for protein has you overloading on nuts ... very painful and hard on body.
I balanced all this with greens.
Here is a green dessert that tastes like a chocolate mint shake:
Vitamix or blend 2-3 cups prewashed spinach with 1.5 cups water until liquid,
Add stevia (or agave nectar), mint drops, lots of ice and raw chocolate powder (Sunfood Nutrition)
You just got in 3 cups of spinach but it tasted like a chocolate mint shake.
If you add the water from a young Thai coconut, it is even better.
Some days I had 3 of these, just to get off cooked foods.
You can make a live V8 juice with greens and add lots of veggie juices, and make raw soups just heated to touch (110 degrees to preserve life force).
Getting in TWO POUNDS of fresh greens everyday will FREE YOU FROM OBSESSION. It is the missing thing your body has been searching for.
You will get your sanity back.
But, if you are not quite ready emotionally, you will make up every excuse in the world why you can not do this .... the door is open and it is up to you.
Eventually, we all have to face the mirror, figure out why we create our "dis-eases" ask ourselves if we have suffered enough, and then put the car in reverse, make a u-turn out of insanity land and return to a non-crazy life of wellness.
It takes a lot of truth telling to face ourselves.
Only we can make ourselves sick.
Only we can make ourselves well.
The question is: are we willing to do "whatever it takes?"
That is the difference between remaining in the victim role or stepping up to the warrior role.
This is a deep, reflective journey that only each one of us can answer, each in their own time, each in their own way.
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