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I gotta gotta do this 21 day June fast
by labellavita

17 blog entries; 17 entries per page; 1 pages; viewed 90,874 times
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  • day 4   by  labellavita     17 y     3,167       3 Messages Shown       Blog: I gotta gotta do this 21 day June fast
    Symptoms:
    skin:
    face smooth
    neck dry
    shoulder dry
    chest dry
    abdomen smooth
    pelvis dry
    upper arm smooth
    elbow dry, slight inflammation
    lower arm smooth
    right wrist smooth
    hand smooth
    inner thigh a little dry
    back thigh smooth
    knee cap mildly dry, scattered bruises skin has repaired
    back of knee dry, inflammed
    lower leg (front) dry and dull (i call tell the old skin is beginning to wrinkle and peel off--renew)
    feet ventrum dry and mildly inflammed
    ankles ok

    tongue: thin white film on whole tongue
    odour:--
    BM:--
    others:drank cucumber broth (insisted by a friend during her dinner) but feel very nauseaus right now
    overall:more energized, feel cleaner, lost a huge part of cravings, think more clearly, dizzy, tire easily, cold extremities

    sleep: 12 hrs

    Exercise
    1. went to clementi photocopy shop to make a copy of Turkey's travel guide (4cents/pg)

    Goals:
    1. I want fantastic health, free of diseases and addictions.
    2. Clear eczema
    3. Lose 10kg

    On the bus today, I reflected on my behaviour towards my boyfriend. I was very pushy when he broke to me news that we could not spend 5 weeks of summer together. I demanded, threw a tantrum, implored, grew angrier and suggested breaking up. Frankly, anyone who has not been in a long-distance relationship and separated for as long as we have, it is difficult to comprehend the emotional roller-coaster a couple faces. Each emotion is amplified a 1000 times.

    Then, it hit me, like other facets of my life, I am an extremely difficult to satisfy person, almost greedy--and the reason behind it is the desire to be envied by others. When it comes to medical school, I am very voracious with knowledge that it often stresses me out mentally. I have the deep desire to be an omniscient student and super doctor. It helps to rejuvenate and reinspire me when I hear of heartening medical cases, allowing me to accept that knowledge is vast. There is no ending but in order to reach the top of my profession I should keep on learning and learn to be satisfied that learning is all about progessing in steps. When it comes to physical appearance, I am very particular about how far I look from my ideal (a computerized composite). If I were to have a blemish, I would think I am ugly, and perpetuating thoughts like these attacks my self-esteem. A very unhealthy behaviour. However, as I fast and make better lifestyle choices, I begin to teach myself to shift my paradigm as to being in transition to being beautiful. I am a victim of vainity. I am learning to be satisfied that I am progressing in a desirable direction. When it comes to my relationship, I want all the time with my boyfriend and collect the best memories in Turkey. I am in love with both him and his country. Although it can be said that I am just a girl in love and desiring badly to spend more time with him exploring turkey, I know that I am also greedy to have the perfect relationship, where the experiences I want to have are enviable to others. I immediately assimilated the realization and understood that life is not perfect, but will seemingly be full of disappointments becauase my expectations and needs to be desired are very high. I have to learn to be satisfied with all I have or can have.

    Take my summer trip with my boyfriend for example. His schedule is extremely packed because this is his peak season for work. He gave me all the time he can afford to be with me. He never even ventured into another breaking up argument with me. He genuinely loves me and is trying to make our relationship work. He is unmovable reagarding taking full responsibility for my safety and not allowing me to even consider staying in turkey when he is at work. I am sure he will take me out wherever I wanted to, buy me anything I desired and bring me to adventurous restaurants. Instead of writhing in disappointment and morose, why not learn to accept and make the best of what time we can spend together?

    We can see each other again in autumn. I aplogised to him over sms, he has not replied.
    Reply   FCK   TinyMCE  
    This is NOT me. This is just randomly assigned avatar, until I upload my own photo. Click here to see my profile.
    labellavita
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