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TODAY I will not drink alcohol!
by FirstFastMay06

16 blog entries; 16 entries per page; 1 pages; viewed 171,721 times
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  • *Day 1   by  FirstFastMay06     18 y     4,013       6 Messages Shown       Blog: TODAY I will not drink alcohol!
    I'm not shocked by no means, but it hurts me to know that I am truly an alcoholic and that when it comes to choice, it is so hard mentally, that I give in. I can say this... my insides did not like it at all. I think that there might be more damage than I first thought. I felt really bad today and I don't consider that wine a lot of alcohol, but still it put my body through a lot to process it.
    Yeah, I'm human but I don't plan on giving up. This blog is something new for me and even if it doesn't help me quit totally it has already had a huge impact in just 22 days. I really enjoy the feedback that I am receiving and I'm glad to see that I'm not in this alone. It is a scary thing. Last night before I drank my girlfriend told me that she could never go back to me drinking like I was after she saw the difference in me in 21 days. I was so stupid to go to the liquor store to get a bottle with a cork so I could make my Kombucha Tea.
    Here is a little about the Kombucha Tea if you are wondering. Without getting very deep it is made with a culture and you let it brew for like 5-10 days then bottle it with a sealed container. It taste good and supposedly has lots of health benefits. I love it! This is why I needed a cork or even better a Grolsch beer bottle with the cap that seals to keep it from getting any air. I did go to walmart 2 times yesterday before I went to the liquor store later that night. I really thought I was going to pour it out. How foolish? It is like a little man in my head was making me believe that, and the whole time he knew what he was doing. It's sick! It makes me almost want to vomit because it was really careless. I even told my girlfriend to drink it if she wanted but she just ended up going to sleep. Nothing but stupidity went into the liquor store idea. Now I have a bottle and have my Kombucha is getting ripe in it so I have no excuse to go back into a liquor store.
    It comes down to eliminating things that I am so used to doing. Thought patterns, emotions, feelings, hunger, etc. all play a part in this addiction. I have to train my body to a completely different lifestyle that it refuses to accept. I am going to be as strong as possible. I am not going down without a fight no matter what.
    Today I didn't drink so I am going forward instead of backwards!
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    • Kombucha Tea   by  tambee     18 y     1,669
      I totally know the tea you are talking about. I buy bottles of it flavored at Whole Foods Store. I read the labels with all the amazing things it is supposed to do for you..... including help cure cancer. It seems like a miracle tea. It does smell a little like dirty boys socks because of all the live cultures which you can see strands of floating in there. But the flavors/juice they add to it seems to throw that off a little. A few weeks ago I did a Kombucha Tea fast for a day and felt great. The funny thing is that I was sitting at work, 3 teas later, on my lunch break and reading the labels. I was astonished to find that the tea had 1.5% alcohol content!!!! Then I suddenly thought.... huh, here I am trying to do a cleanse when actually I am basically drinking watered down beer!???? No wonder I felt so great! Just thought I would point that out. Through the fermentation process alcohol evolves. Not sure how much alcohol your home-brewed tea has?

      Glad to see your back on track!! You are doing awesome!!
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    • Does it have to be day 1 again?   by  nctalley     18 y     1,944
      I mean I suppose it is Day 1 technically, but it is a shame that you can't consider it 21 days, isn't it? Kind of allowing yourself a "do-over-day". You are very fortunate that you have your girlfriend telling you like it is...not really an ultimatum, but just speaking her mind. She likes you better sober. And you 've said it yourself, you like yourself better this way too. So although you are really doing it for yourself, it's nice to know somebody else sees things your way. Though it would have been nicer if she would have taken one for the team and just killed that bottle herself before sleeping! Kidding!

      Thank for explaining the tea. I've heard of it but had little idea of what it really was. I wonder, does the other poster's comment about the alcohol that is produced during the fermentation process have an affect on your drinking the tea now?
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    • Hey, glad to see your going back on the horse...   by  #38976     18 y     1,884
      It is great that youi have gone 21 days, look at that and don't beat yourself up over the one day fall from grace.

      I suggest next time go to the local A.C Moore store, they have the jars with the locking top you're talking about, and ones with cork, in many different sizes for about $1.25 each.

      If there is not one depending on your area, A.C is a craft supplies store - so try the store of that type by your area.

      Supermarkets also may have canning supplies, and the home goods stores like Linens and Things and Bed Bath and Beyond may as well, for storing fruits, grains etc.

      Check them out, before you need anymore, and this will keep you from having to go to the liquor store.

      Congratulations on your decision and your resolve.

      Stay the course: the benefits are beyond measure.

      MadArt (ist)

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    • You're on the right track! :-)   by  #67604     18 y     1,643
      I am a recovering alcoholic, and totally feeling you, babe. Fell off the wagon myself a few times, but kept getting back on, and now May 2004 is my sobriety date.

      You said something that really snagged my eye: "...This is why I needed a cork or even better a Grolsch beer bottle with the cap that seals to keep it from getting any air. I did go to walmart 2 times yesterday before I went to the liquor store later that night. I really thought I was going to pour it out. How foolish? It is like a little man in my head was making me believe that, and the whole time he knew what he was doing."

      I always think of that little man in my head as the devil, or at least, one of his demons. And he definitely knows what he is doing. Have you ever read 'The Screwtape Letters' by C.S. Lewis? It's all about that little man. Jesus is Lord, and the key for many of us to quit and stay quit, is to pray to him for help and guidance. I did, and he sent me to AA. Awful, but like they say, "it works if you work it!" There is a line in the bible about a self sufficient fool falling on his face. Well, that is so many of us when we try to do it on our own. I'm very glad to see you here, this is a very supportive place with many helpful people.

      The tea is very interesting, it's been around for quite awhile, and hailed as a magic elixir by some. Have you ever tried white tea? They say it has alot more anntioxidant power than black or green teas, and has less caffeine than black or green tea.


      God bless you. Keep up the good work!
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