- BREAKTHROUGH!!! Day 15 by Roooth
18 y
2,958 5 Messages Shown
Blog: 30 Days RAW
I've read about the emotional eating, the overeating "stuffing your feelings as you stuff yourself," etc. etc. Put that way it seems to literal although I certainly believe people eat emotionally. The picture that comes to mind is the woman breaking up and sitting on the couch with a Pint (or half gallon!) of ice cream feeling depressed. That was not me. I get tons of pleasure from my ice cream, I don't cry into it! Often times I'm not feeling particularly terrible and then I feel pushed to food.
But here's the thing: yesterday I was trying new recipes since I got my new wonderful fabulous food processor and I made myself a raw carrot cake. It's more like pudding really but it tastes good. Well, I was feeling some of that restless energy that I get when I think about the area of my career which I feel is not in line with what I really want to be doing in life. I'm not doing the best work at work because of this nagging feeling. I'm going back to school so I am working towards what I think is important but it will be years until I'm able to get work in that field. Anyway, this discontent is familiar and I'm taking action so what more can I do but stay on the path? (I'm working on the answer to that since this issue keeps coming up for me emotionally.) So I decide to play a video game, something that I do once in a while. But this time I keep thinking to that carrot cake and I ate way to much yesterday altogether. Eating too much good food is very hard on my body. Actually eating to much of anything is. Well, I wonder at how crazy it is that I feel compelled and why my mind keeps straying to carrot cake and obviously, there's not amount that's enough, just until my body is overloaded then I stop. It makes no logical sense. It just felt like my sweet tooth coming back to haunt me even though I've been raw for 2 weeks. Even with raw foods, I have a sweet tooth. I'd better watch that, I think. Maybe stay away from making desserts that are sweetened with too much honey, etc.
So the evening wanes, I decide I need to stop eating and my body is pretty well at a point where I can stop or feel REALLY bad so I end with some greens and I'm not supposed to eat after 8pm anyway. What happened to me when I stopped for awhile? I got really sad! Out of nowhere (so it seemed), I get a sense of sadness and lonliness that I honestly didn't feel before when I was paying attention to where my mind was. HOLEEEE MOLEEEE! This is the breakthrough, odd as that may be. My issue really was popping up in my mind and when I'm sad I especially miss my husband who is not here to comfort me. Is this what was under all that? Playing a video game and thinking about carrot cake is my mind's way to avoid feeling because I haven't found a way to tackle this issue so I just live with it and my mind doesn't want to feel it? It was the oddest thing ever: stop eating, then sadness comes. I was thinking at first, am I getting moody because of my bad eating habits (since I've read about mood improving while on RAW). Did my overeating on RAW make me moody, but the sadness really came out. It's so strange to me - I swear I really didn't feel it. I just noticed I was feeling unsettled again but what could I do and then I started eating before I really got sad.
It's the strangest thing to me to find that I am an emotional eater even though I'm not emotional when I do it! BUT that also means that I will never be SUPER SEXY HOT until I find a way to handle this issue, either the emotional eating, my source of trouble or both. I'm not looking at my career issues head on. I don't know what can be done, but with effort and creativity, I'm hoping to uncover a solution that has eluded me previously.
So there is the revelation. It's another step towards health, freedom from food, and spiritual evolution. Now to find the actions that will keep me moving forward...
|
|
|
Roooth
|
|
- Hi, hope you're doing well! by Germanflower
18 y
1,547
Today is day 24 100% raw for me. I think everyone overeats the first couple of weeks raw, I don't think it's avoidable really you're just so hungry and all the blended food tastes good. But, you get tired of even that and especially the bloated feeling and then you just start eating more simple fare. I slice up a bunch of tomatoes and add a dash of shoyu and I'm there. But the first week I was binging, and everyone I've talked to says they did the same thing. I think your body just says give me more of this great stuff and fast!
Have you had a good detox day yet? What did you put in your carrot cake?
|
|
|
Germanflower
|
|
- Re: Hi, hope you're doing well! by Roooth
18 y
1,224
awww, thanks for the support, 'flower. It's really nice. I kinda wish I'd read it before hopping off the wagon on Day 15 for the first time to eat something I shouldn't! I don't see it as a huge deal. I've just been CRAVING and in some way it was a relief to let it go, especially since it wasn't so great to eat bad. It just was what it was. I still plan on doing the 30 days but I will now have to do 31 since today officially doesn't count! :-)
It also seems to me that this is more of an extreme lifestyle choice; not that many people do it completely, 100%. I got invited to a pool party and I don't know what I want to do about that...
Yeah, I hate that bloated feeling but it's good to hear that other people overeat although I do it when my body does NOT feel hungry. That's the part that tells me something is wrong with how I relate to food. I don't know but this is all about learning so... the carrot cake I got from Alissa Cohen's book. It's more like carrot pudding really but the taste is reminiscent of carrot cake. I can't remember the recipe exactly but if you want I'll post it later when I'm home. It was pretty good. The favorite treat of mine that I found since trying out RAW is BlueBalls! Ok, the poster may have called them "Blueberry Truffles" or something like that but I call 'em blueballs. Those are W-O-N-D-E-R-F-U-L!!!! I'll post recipes later. Thanks again for the support.
*much love*
Ruth
|
|
|
Roooth
|
|
- Re: Hi, hope you're doing well! by Roooth
18 y
1,272
| In other news, my blood pressure seemed really low yesterday, 99/68. That's low, right? I've always had good numbers, but I think the top # was always 3 digits. So I think this is good. I'll be watching more closely now...
|
|
|
Roooth
|
|
- Congrats!! Remember, cleansing means to set free your body AND your mind... by JeSuisButterfly
18 y
1,421
as you detox your body, your mind allows unresolved emotions and memories to the surface.
<3 Just take it as it comes, your wings are growing [one feather at a time, na?]
I give my support!
<3 ~Papillon
P.S. May I have the recipe for that yummy raw carrot cake pudding? <3
|
|
|
JeSuisButterfly
|
|
|
|
CureZone