Re: What supplements to fight off acute hepatitis like liver infection?

it has nothing to do with needing attention. i only post here when i encounter a new development in my decay... otherwise, i am happily wasting away in my own way.

but i ask advice with the intent to see if theres some ideas ive not discovered yet. its a cry for help, sure, but its also that i just want to explain how impossible my situation is to fix and to vent. i know no one will ever care but im still angry as hell this happened to me and that i never figured out what to do about it until its far too late.

i dont have the self discipline or motivation/support to do this myself. as soon as i try my family kills all my attempts with their disbelief and their indulgences. they hate me. they wish i would just die. the people i know all live unhealthily i have no way to ever overcome that. i now understand how people become homeless, helpless and discarded by the world. i could write a book and if i live long enough, i intend to. (but probably wont make it)

essentially i know that i just cant leave behind this life of convenience and indulgence i was raised into. i wasnt raised with that kind of constitution. who was? yeah thats an excuse... but its real for me. i have left behind ALOT, and changed so much but its never enough and too late.

i have done Epsom Salt flushes before, they fixed me a little. i have done coffee enemas also, i have been on raw food diets for weeks, i have tried incorporating various dirt cheap protocols, i have sought help from a naturopath to try ozone therapy (costs too much to use it to a theraputic level for a long period of time.) i take probiotic and enzyme supplements along with multivitamins. ultimately all these things help 'a little'...maybe. but never enough to fully change or fix myself.

doing all these beneficial things and seeing little benefit while having nothing worth living for? well, i just start to feel like what is the point. there is nothing worth living for so why even bother. i have my dreams, my music, my art, my writing, my plans for the future... but everything is a catch 22.

i dont want to be in pain and suffering or die, but i dont want to live either. not like... that. dont want to live healthy and fighting for my life restricting every indulgence and satisfaction when no one around me supports it or cares. i dont think anyone could do that. i also dont have the money to really win this war against my dying body.

so, i do what i can. its never enough but its something, yes. yesterday i went to the health store and got :

-some organic artichokes (supposed to be good for bile flow)
-dandelion tincture (also for bile flow/liver)
-organic lemons
-organic onions/garlic
-pepparmint digestion tea

and a bunch of other organic, wheat-free products. i am trying to avoid dairy as much as possible now as well. i take liquid ionic metals through the day (zinc, selenium, magnesium usually at night) and Lugol's iodine.

i still don't eat enough green leafy vegetables. i still eat too much processed garbage (even if a lot of it is now organic and gluten free.) i just want to die painlessly. this life killed me and wants me to kill myself. im always doing a mixture of good things and terrible things to myself so im just doomed. heh. going to cook an artichoke now. :/
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