Dickless Halfshifter. by Karlin Blog entry

Blog: Path of my Life
by Karlin

Dickless Halfshifter.

Violators of Property Need Love Too.

Date: 2/20/2009 1:52:42 AM ( 15 y ) ... viewed 2977 times

The guy in apartment #1 is one of those guys who plays his music really loud whenever the landlord is gone, basically taunting everyone around him with his edgy taste.

Really loud music, for hours at a time. He knows we don't like it. So eventually my other neighbor and I made a complaint to the landlord, and the town office, and the police [we were told to go to all three].

And then sometime during the night HE STOLE MY BICYCLE!!

He most likely tossed it into the river. Garrrrr, he did that to me, as revenge, for me complaining about his noise level.

There are eight of us here, eight separate apartments, and the girl in #2 saw the brother of the guy in #1 take my bike, walked it up the lane and put it in the back of his truck he had parked up there. This is the bike I ride every day from April to December, sometimes far and back!

What can we do about guys like that?

What should I do about THIS situation?

My bike is stolen!! He took it and I cannot just let him dominate us like this, can I? I was feeling an old familiar feeling - rage.

Some of us humans are not so very far from the animal kingdom when it comes to violations of property ownership, where our rage takes hold and we want to confront, and do much worse, to the violator of our property. Males especially. Even me.

For awhile there, I had some realy awful thoughts running through my head, and it felt good. I was walking faster and faster, my heart was pounding, and I was breathing hard, making a sort of malicious snorting sound. Thoughts that are real animal stuff, I wanted to hurt him - it just pops in there.

And I was thinking that maybe the law should let the people involved take care of it. Maybe I should have the right to kill or otherwise disable my neighbor the wingnut tough guy and toss him in the river. I mean, after all, look at what he does to everyone around him? People in Vancouver, where they are gang shootings going on, are talking like that. We have to do it ourselves - maybe thats what the police and courts are telling us?

I want to hurt him.

So I ask myself:
"WHAT IS A GOOD REVENGE?"
- calling him a bully? [without crying or whining]
- poison gas, like in his open window? like what tho...
- bulldoze his apartment?
- hurt him physically?
- cut his tires?

I cannot let him get away with it. I just HATE that dickless halfshifter.

But then I have to tell myself that "its just a bike, they can be replaced".... and I told myself that "this rage isn't a good thing, I learned that so many times"

There IS no good revenge.

There is no GOOD revenge.

So I slowed it down, and then I remembered that he is a paranoid-schizophrenic TOO, just like the Guy in #3, both with "p-s". They don't have any consideration for other people, they are not able to, that sort of thing just doesn't exist for them.

Autism is like that. I didn't know p-s was that way, but I guess it is. It is weird, though, they are grown men, they have to know it is bothering us, and they do, but that doesn't bother them.

My p-s neighbors are not necessarliy dangerous, they are only going to hurt someone if they become startled or feel threatened. But the reality is that they ARE dangerous, they will kill. See? - there it is again, that kill word. Maybe thats why I felt ready to do that, before I caught myself - because I know he would kill me in the right/wrong circumstance. Like the way #1 attacked me with a hammer last summer. I wrote about that episode in this blog too. It is the path of my life.

I don't know why I am surrounded by two paranoid-schizophrenics, I suppose someone has to be. And I have to stay calm and not be violent, I know that. But I did think it, I was thinking about ways to hurt him, I guess thats just something we do. Maybe I should be glad that I have the ability to NOT hurt others, even when I think of it, unlike some people. Humans can learn to breathe deeply, maybe that is our gift, and what separate us from the animals, but it is close enough to the surface to know that much of it is still there, in the right circumstances.