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Day 1 2 wk water fasting
“I thought about how many preconcieved prejudices would crumble when i trotted right along for 26 miles.”
Roberta "Bobbi" Gibb quotes ( Runner the first woman to run the Boston Marathon 1966 )
Date: 10/19/2006 12:23:56 AM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 2500 times Sleep:10 hr
BM:yes, had severe constipation and took laxative
breathing: slightly blocked, some mucus, poor olfactory ability
tongue: medium thick white film, 90%
skin:intact, a little dry but, some new bruises localized with accompanying inflammation and itch at joint areas, lack a radiance
menstraution: restarted after the clearance of constipation, thick viscous discharge, good detox sign
exercise: later, the haze is leaning towards hazardous levels
overall feeling: after passing motion, the feeling of emptiness is welcoming. I feel a little bloated but it is normal for the first day of fasting. Feel calm and quiet in the heart. Feel plump but everyone tells me I have lost weight, how strange. Must have been the months of fasting attempts and precipitating physical weariness from the sickness.
Spiritual:
Streams in the desert
Lessons: Jan 2
1. Refuse to be satisfied with meager accomplishments.
2. Aspire to a higher, or nobler, and a fuller life.
3. We lnger in the lowlands because we are afriad to climb the mountaints.
4. Too low they build who build beneath the stars.
A staunch advocator of living fully, I never grasped the true meaning of my beliefs until after this passage. Have I walked the talk? Not truly. Point 1: While it is true that I have seen my previous accomplishments as a stepping stone to greater heights to be scaled and scopes to be explored in medicine or other interest, I have always taken naive comfort that I am sure of who I am--and whatever I thought of about myself was enough and right. This crisis and my nascent journey with God has proved me sorely wrong. I am still an unravelling mystery. Point 2: This is a statement close to my heart but what does it mean? In the past, a good life was touted to me to be one with material riches and reverence. Any unhappiness in my life there was invariably someone to blame. Any wrongs that befell me I would hunt my transgresser down and condemn with spite and scorn. This turning point in my life opened my eyes to my glaring flaws and blessed me with a paradigm shift: trade simplicity for extravagance and righteousness for pompousness. Point3: This moment in life is definitely the Mount Everest for me. My past failures in following through with my fast did instil fear and disdain, but also a new courage and desire to acheive the life that is meant for me. Point 4: What I have or do will no longer have significance if I was not serving God with a genuine heart.
Jan 3
Lessons:
1. Jesus knows how we are formed, he remembers we are dust. He remembers alll the time and will never make you take even one step beyond what your feet are able to enfure.
2. He will srengthen you to make you able or He will call a sudden halt and you will not have to take it at all.
I love the verse " I will move along at the pace of the droves before me and that of the children"(Genesis 33:14) because it helps me to find solace that I do not have to kill myself to reach the finish line to earn God's praise. He already loves me and takes each step with me, yet guiding me with his free hand and cheering me--all the way-- to the finish line. I sent this to my boyfriend. He is not a Christian and does wonder what are we living for sometimes. There is so much beauty in his soul but I sense that it is trapped. I promised myself not to throw any tantrums at him anymore because we love each other too much. On his travels, I will send him a verse from the bible and well wishes everyday. I hope he will become a fuller individual.
Point2:A very meaningful point apropos to my situation. Recapitulating, my past was filled with countless moments of weakness, but God picked me up each time--but I did not acknowledge him. Now, my destructive momentum has been forced to come to a screeching halt. Once a forerunner of the pack, now the bottom of it. It felt strange and hurtful at first, but I have come to understand that I am, in fact, not at the bottom in God's eyes. During these months, he has revealed to me how much ahead I am and will be, because he has worked a complete transformation in my mind body and soul and illuminated opportunities that I closed my eyes to before. I must trust him and toil diligently because his words are the divine truth.
Reading up on Genesis.
I love the stories and lessons. Helps me to get a picture of what happened before Christ. Still learning.
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