|
I had a realization today...
What's the trouble.....?
Date: 9/19/2006 1:51:42 AM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 3028 times At this point, if I could heal myself (let's say for instance, overnight) and return to this world I once knew...I would then wonder what was so bad about chronic pain. Healing overnight, I know, it's not realistic...but I need to consider that neither is devoting life to healing only to look back the entire time at what I'm missing.
Looking at this world after suffering for so long, I do not see the things I'd like to see...I no longer imagine things happening. What I see is reality...hopelessness and meaningless is right in my face, this is my consciousness. The idea of "being positive" or "looking on the bright side" are only ideas to me. They are ideas that are meaningless to me, they lack substance for me...they are ideas that don't know me. Hopelessness and meaninglessness, and not giving a shit....they know me well.
Looking on the bright side and such...so called encouragement, assumes the fact that there is nothing wrong. This is a trick I see being performed by psychiatrists, something is definitely wrong with you they will say...then, oh, well look at all these good things and worse things happening to other people. Now, don't you feel better...and don't you see that all of these things that are wrong, are really justified? Then they say...let's start with treatment by admitting that you have a problem and then by pretending that everything is perfect. This is a common irritation of reality, such people must think that they are giving people like me useful advice...or that they are providing a service. What's wrong with this, or what's the problem with that they might ask...they like to ask questions that people shouldn't bother giving answers to. It helps them brainwash themselves into thinking they are right, when they know they have nothing to contribute. You don't bother to answer, they must be right! Someone like me who knows only pain, is confused by such a question...it references my own current state or condition, and I become somewhat paranoid. Why do they care I wonder? I wonder this because of reality itself, I don't wonder this for no reason...it's not that I have no reason to wonder. Other people will try to just flat out convince you that you are crazy and that it's aright to be that way forever, it is aright with them anyway.
Who ever said that I was the one with a problem? I'd like to know, really. I think psychiatrists and supporters of our criminal government...the so called patriots, have a problem...because they have a completely flawed view of consciousness, they are asleep. I would gladly dispose of these people, in the hopes of getting a few more breaths of air. In other words, I would "sin" and perform a "crime" by providing these people with their last breath. How's that for "terror?" What these people are really doing, the people who like pushing encouragement, is wasting their breath and supporting the witch-hunting psychiatrists. They are begging you, someone who is suffering, to die and to just forget about the shortcomings in this world. The shortcomings that they, the psychiatrists and pseudo-scientists of the world, are getting paid to preach...that the brainwashed masses follow. They are all contributing to it. They say such things because they don't know what else to say, do you think they'd actually say... "sorry for raping you all of these years, do you feel better?" They would fear for their lives if they said that, because they know that if they admitted fault ...their opposition is highly capable of retaliation.
So, what would I do then...if I didn't need to devote the rest of my life to healing, and this healing "happened" to me overnight. I believe that I would see it a sign from above to take action...to achieve my own justification for such needless suffering. I would see it fit to destroy anyone in my way or anyone whose ideas are not compatible with my own reality. I would make peace through the shattering of other people's existence. This is my reality, it is going on now...whose side are you on? Wait, that doesn't matter to me...because I could give a f*** less what people think or what happens.
Add This Entry To Your CureZone Favorites! Print this page
Email this page
 Alert Webmaster
|
