Uck.. here we go again

Ex boyfriends and illusions don't mix

Date:   9/23/2005 1:16:11 AM   ( 19 y ) ... viewed 2416 times

Saw lots of scary white lines today - my 2nd time since Washington.. and I thought I was safe here. It was a traumatic experience all over again. I went walking with my best friend in a Nature preserve and followed the we-Guides advice with staring at the ground, making lots of contact with the plants. I chanted over and over to myself, "They're just an illusion. It's just a very convincing illusion." I hope the panic dies down soon... I hate being traumatized over something. I hate having fear control my life. My heart was thudding in my chest and my stomach was literally in spasms. I was breathing way too fast, I was in such a state of shock I was dizzy. It wasn't chemtrail poisoning, it was my own damn 'fight or flight' instinct kicking in.
It was a coicidence that earlier I researched them way before I even saw them, even though a voice in my head distinctly told me 'No'. They told me not to look at all of the webpages, to stay away from frightening myself again.

I talked to my ex about it a moment ago.
"She may be sympathetic to your paranoia but I'm not."
I don't even know why I still talk to him.

He's such a jerk.

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• A wise saying I once heart   by oztin     19 y
  • Re: A wise saying I once heart   by oztin     19 y