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"On, on!!!" laughed the cars. (Thomas the Tank Engine.)
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Date: 5/18/2012 8:57:01 AM ( 12 y ) ... viewed 2300 times Yesterday after work I went for a 2 mile run, washed my kitchen floor on my hands and knees, took the junk I need to dispose of and put it in my truck, ate dinner, plucked my eyebrows and took old nail polish off of my nails.
When I got home from work I felt like I was dying inside. My entire being felt like a 50lb. bag of sand. I just wanted to lie there or take some kind of pill and sleep until this morning. Didn't do that.
I ran instead. I was coming home from my run on Main St. and I stopped to chat with my neighbor. I got to hear how he's doing in his life with his struggles. He said I was pretty. If I was in bed, knocked out in bed - I would've missed that chance to really be a part of my town with my neighbor on a beautiful spring evening.
I carry this huge weight all the time - in spite of decades of meds. It's in my head, my torso, my heart, my legs,all of me. I feel like I am truly walking dead weight.
Tonight I am obligated to set up and chair the meeting. I will go for a quick run before hand to see if I can lighten up some more.
Next three days off in a row. OMG. How awesome is that?
Hope yours is a really good day! I will take action in spite of feeling selfish, unloved, alone, hopeless, and just plain wrong. I will continue on to change these feelings.
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