I am so impressed, as I read through your story I can't believe how lovely everything is to you! You focus on people for their wonderful qualities, you focus on your own wonderful qualities. You try to see people and appreciate them for who they truly are, you see through the petty, you understand and forgive their motivations. You are more on your way to enlightenment than depression. Are you sure you're depressed? Your father's behavior is apalling! You seem to have a firm grip on the truth of things, it isn't YOU that makes your father act the way he does, it's HIM and his perceptions and interpretations that cause his reactions and as frustrating as it is you can't change him. You can only change you. The one piece of advice I have ever received that was worth anything was this:

If you can't change someone's actions - change your reaction instead, it works so well, especially with family where the dynamic between you is set and has become a habit for the way you see/treat each other. Throw your dad the curveball next time.


No one can make you feel inferior without your consent - Eleanor Roosevelt