Date:   5/21/2006 8:14:50 PM ( 18 y ago)
Hits:   3,610
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=563978

I think maybe it is too late... this time... to get on the circuit...hehehe...

I am ready to go if needed but I would rather there were never another hurricane...
It seems like the South is like ant mounds getting soaked and washed away only to be rebuilt until just rebuilt in time get another soaking... There must be a better way...

I will put you on my speed dial as soon as I need an agent...lol...

I always thought I had a book in me but you know... I think it needs to happen when it needs to happen...if it needs to happen...and to tell you the truth...
I don't know if it even needs to be written outside of these walls here in cyberspace... Talking about it is like therapy for me... If I had my ten minutes of fame right here in CureZone then that is all right with me... My NDE is so sacred to me, I am not sure if it belongs out there in print media. It is like putting a diamond out there with a pile of Cubic Zirconias. How could you tell that it was a real gem?

In my day to day life, I can't even live up to my NDE. In my day to day life, my NDE sometimes dwarfs me and makes me feel so small...like Arthur with a sword chasing after the grail... being that close to the real thing reveals just me with all of my weakness...like God gave a perfect gift to a fool to show he can work with anyone...

I don't want to go back to my pre-NDE daze, but i have not lived up to greatest expectation of my NDE. I have so many failed relationships with lovers and friends since that day that it almost seems like knowing the "real deal" messes up the illusion of this life. I just don't play by the same rules as everyone else and often I feel like people see me as an enigma or even worse like I am from another species.

I think what I need is to get to a place... where I am balanced enough to stand between heaven and earth and feel comfortable in both. Perhaps there will come a day when Geraldo will be looking for me and I hope, if he does, you can come along as my agent and tell the world how this whole thing started with a flicker in CureZone and turned into a flame that burned so bright it shined into heaven itelf... In that moment, mankind could lay down their swords and ponder the great love that is God... and maybe on that day....heaven itself will sit on top of Mount Zion and rivers of living water will pour from the squarish shaped heaven onto the desert sand and life will spring up wherever the water touched... OOPs, I think I may have gone to the end game again and skipped the hard steps in the in betweens... that male part of me...the intellectually lazy me...

I believe that female energy and male...is just a bunch of chemicals to twist us into something that can survive in this mean ole place...and one day soon...this mean ole earth will be a forgotten footprint in a shallow puddle of water...that was time...a splash that was there for but a moment...and then gone... and what remains will be a collection of souls who managed to learn a few lessons about love on this rock and moved on...

I know there are other playgrounds to play in though... maybe some day in some other place and time, we will meet in the same sand box...look and smile...never knowing why...

 

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