Date:   9/24/2015 1:23:41 AM ( 9 y ago)
Hits:   2,722
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=2278438

I'm sorry you've had such a tough go of it. My younger sis had her 21 year old son murdered, and it's been devastating for her.

I don't remember a life where I ever lost a child although with all the wars throughout history I must have. But in this life my grandmother who lost 2 sons AND two brothers, kept telling me--never have kids, they'll only bring you pain. And quite frankly, I think she was spot on. I watch my sis and while feeling quite bad for her suffering, I still feel quite relieved for myself. Whew--dodged that bullet!

I only remember the life where I committed suicide myself--it was back in the early 1800's and I had immigrated to America. My husband died on the boat over and I was pregnant. So it ended up, my son was all I had. When he grew old enough to marry, he found this gal and married her. I felt totally abandoned and alone.

No one to love me any more (of course he still did, but I wasn't his only love anymore)--I felt beyond despair. Or at least I thought so--I was actually so pissed I couldn't see straight. And one afternoon, when I knew my son was going to visit, I turned on the gas in my stove and stuck my head in. I died of course, and my son found me as I planned. It really was about punishing him for deserting me--which it did, but that part of his higher self was waiting to share the pain he felt from that little stunt, and I'm not planning on repeating suicide for that kind of reason ever again.

Really, I found suicide is more like a default reset--you are still real but just in spirit form. It really doesn't change much other than you can see more clearly what was really going on, and your part in the whole set up for the event.

And after a deep discussion with my higher self, we both agreed playing the wounded victim and punishing those who love us for not doing what we want by killing ourselves really didn't teach us much except we won't need to do that again!

I guess knowing we reincarnate has taken a lot of fear out of that whole dying thing because you know it's only the end of one cycle and then on to the next.

But of course committing suicide doesn't solve a darn thing. Chances are the very next life you choose will have similar lessons in it and you'll keep having those kinds of life because some part of you really wants to learn the lessons you killed yourself to avoid. It's like that saying, wherever you go, there you still are.

It's just proven to me that it isn't what happens that hurts so much it's about what we think about what happened that's usually the really painful part. It's believing that whole 'lost and gone forever' that is the unnecessary pain. The missing him as your son is real, though, but if you look around, you'll find a child who probably reminds you of him--chances are it is.
 

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