Date:   1/24/2008 8:46:25 PM ( 16 y ago)
Hits:   1,508
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1094376

I don't think I can find the right words for my feelings, my daughter is in an emotional and physical abusive relationship. I, we are so very frightened for her safety as well as my 1 year old grandsons. When she turned 18 years old (and is now 24 years old) she left home and moved into his parents home after only knowing him for about a month. The first two months we were not allowed to see her and only speak with her a few times (both his mother and he are abusers). At this point I wasn't sure if it was just a busy in love couple or something very strange going on. When Xmas came and he was in jail we begged her to come spend Xmas with her family she became so upset and kept saying I want to but I don't know what to do because his mother kept telling her he would be upset if she was not a home when he got to call home from jail. She did come but only for a while when his mother came to get her saying that I purposely did not allow the collect call from jail and she needed to come back right away. Another month went by and finally we came out to see her. We met this guy for the first time. We sat down to talk with him, his mother joined us and began to inform us that one she was going to make my daughter fat, (she is a very thin girl) also that within the next week they were going to be married (she has not married him, thank God!). His mother also stated that they were trying to get her pregnant, she wanted a baby. My daughter sat quietly through entire conversation. Everything inside me went crazy, I left with my heart in terror. She has been in this relationship for 5 years. She left once before the baby was conceived. He left her for money his mother offered to get him a truck & his license back (His Mom tried to run her over with a car also during this break up) once we got her to come home she was making a very good recovery, from what we could tell she had been brainwashed or close to it by both of them.
Then he came around again, she stared seeing him again and got pregnant. 4 weeks later she went to Virginia with him and his parents. She was gone for a little over a year. They are now back here near her family. I have known about the emotional abuse and have tried when I can to make her see what's happing but with no luck. Now, recently although I suspected it I know now it has become physical. She denied it at first but when it became fact she said she hit him first so that made it ok. Not only did he hit her but his mother did as well. He also cheats on her. Needless to say I could give so many instances of both types of abuse but bottom line is she claims to be afraid to leave as he has threatened to take her son away from her. And possibly the threat of harming any of her family & friends. Her family and friends have assured her that he will not get the baby from her and that she has our full support, she says she can not find the courage to leave. Perfect example. Last week he told her that he didn't want to be with her anymore because she she does not want to get a job, she wants to be a stay at home Mom. He said he wanted his son on weekends. The next day I guess he told her, she couldn't make it on her own and He didn't want her to go home to her family because that's not being on her own. He said she could stay there so that it was easier for the baby and for him to have time with the baby. She has applied for a few jobs, and has been staying there. I see her falling back into the robot she has become and fear any day we will start to see her less and less as he pulls her away again. She has been visiting us daily for a few months now and have been having a very hard time getting her to leave this grave situation. She is confused, scared, very low self esteem and hides from reality a lot depressed and seems to be slightly bipolar and is starting meds to help. She says she wants to leave but then slips back and says she's not ready yet. I have been having bad nightmares of him chocking her to death or the baby being hit and killed by him breaking something. I have been through abuse years ago and was chocked to near death. My daughter talks with me only a little bit (before she left home we talked a lot)and when we do connect and I get close to the truth of her situation she does not want to talk about anymore. I gave her life in a marriage full of love even to this day. All who truly love her mother, and father, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, cousins and friends it hurts so very bad to see what has happened to her. As, her Mom I am crushed by how she feels so bad about herself, she is so completely negative about herself. I can't bear the thought of her or my grandson being just another static. Through all my life experience I personally know how deadly and horrible this type of life can be. Please anyone who has any ideas we can use to get her to realize that she needs to get out we would be so very grateful.
Sorry this post was so long. Thanks for reading it.
A very Frightened Mom, Family and Friends
 

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