Date:   12/29/2007 12:08:44 PM ( 17 y ago)
Hits:   5,675
URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1072528

I'm still here, and I'm sorry if my silence has made people question whether my problem was genuine or not. I'm really not just trying to stir up an argument for the sake of drama. :)

Like SoulfulSurvivor said a while back, I'm taking in all the advice and trying to work out what's best for myself. And like they also suggested, I'm probably still in a bit of denial over the whole thing. I hung out with him yesterday and he didn't seem different at all, he was a very normal, silly guy. I can't picture him being violent to his girlfriend or abusive in a relationship. I haven't confronted him yet about it; I'm not sure if he know I know, because I was told through several different friends who were told by him or his parents. I think it's kind of like the elephant in the room- we both know its there, but neither of us wants to talk about it.

But I'm certainly not in complete denial. I know what he's done, and it still horrifies me. He's in counseling, I now know, though I think its still left over from the suicide attempt. Speaking of which, some people have gotten the wrong impression about that, I think. It wasn't him being manipulative to me or anyone else- he was legitimately in deep depression, two states away from his friends. No one knew it was going to happen, he hadn't threatened us or reached out for help. He just slit his wrists and took a bunch of pills, and would have died if not for a luckily timed visit from his RA. And he fought back like hell, apparently.

I feel like I need to talk to him, not only to straighten out the facts but also to encourage him in his counseling and to try and keep him away from his girlfriend (though talking has never helped in the past on that account). I don't know how I can help him change beyond that. But I still feel uncomfortable around him, knowing that he was violent, even though it's not really fear for myself. It's more like not being able to unite the image of him and of being an abuser in my head. It suddenly feels like I don't know him at all. And that there's a lot underneath his surface.
 

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