Date:   12/27/2007 9:25:47 AM ( 17 y ago)
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URL:   https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1071066

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Purchase "Controlling People", by Patricia Evans, & give it to him to read. Only the abuser can change himself, if he wants to. This book is a good lens to help abusers see their actions for what they are and put them in to perspective, and help them change. Does your friend seem like a very loving person? Some people fight, and dominate their lover, as part of a disturbing ritual that has something to do with getting extremely close, too close, to another, not honoring boundaries - as if there were no boundaries, in a misconception that somehow, because of their profound love, they should be one person, and that one person should be him, and any signs of otherness are to be squelched, controlled & punished. Astonishingly, there really can be intense feelings of love in such a relationship, even though it really can completely & utterly sicken, destroy & eventually kill the victim.

I've had to sever my relationship with my father & first 2 wives because this is how they treated me, & I came close to being dead before cutting them & their abuse out of my life, & although I'm lonely & miss their love, I'm healing, more every night, & it feels wonderful, blissful even, when I wake up, saturated in spirit & healing.
 

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