Why I let go of war...

I did not see emotions but rather all of my actions combined with loving kindness,,,joy... and the natural beauty of the world... Rather than a punishment for things done poorly... I was shown moments when I shined...
I was shown all the kindnesses that I had ever given to others and I was shown all the kindnesses that I had been given... I was shown all of the joy... beauty of the natural world... that I had experienced... all these moments were gifts... given to me for keeps... and in return... my gift to the light as well... for a lifetime lived in my body...

Perhaps not emotions ...but rather... my intentions and actions are what was judged... while going to the light... All that is less than the very light at the end of time falls off of us on the way to the light.. Imagine turning a 1,000 watt light bulb in a dark room... there just was no room for less than love and joy...

I was a soldier who longed to kill,,, but that longing was no longer a part of me there... it did not make it through to the light... so while it might not be judged as good or bad... my desire and intention to kill was not light... did not make it into my final edited book of life... If we are to live our lives... so we get to keep the most of it in timelessness... we ought to be doing things that will make it to the light... joy...kindnesses... compassion...Why waste our energy on things that will be forgotten?

I had very few moments of joys, kindnesses, acts of compassion... in my life review... in a whole lifetime of less than loving intentions but the light loved those rare moments when I shined or was shined upon more than anything... All of these things were my gift to the light.... My challenge to those who want to make the most of this life... add to your soul what is light as this is who and what you are on the other side... and if you do not desire to do this... that is okay by me... I am just writing from my knowing... it is meant for those who it speaks to... The light loved even me.. a man who was constantly plotting and schemming to kill his nation's enemies... but returning to my body... those things were no longer were important... they were non events...to me... in my nde...

I am a soldier no more... and nor will i ever be again... Post NDE- I found other vocations that did not ask me to kill... The only way for wars to end is for mankind to quit participating in them; and it starts with me...