Sorry if I gave the impression that I have got this stuff figured out, I haven’t. I wish I had. I still get really low at times; I have been the last few weeks because my health as been so bad and it stops me doing the things I really want to do! It’s funny cos they say that we take are health for granted and that’s so true. I just didn’t realise how much I had when I had my health and I wasn’t in pain. That stuff you said about forgiveness and excepting that there i8sn’t a better past, I don’t know so much about that, in some ways I think that most things come down to a state of mind. I don’t mean the facts, the facts are facts and you can’t change that, but how you see the fact well that’s a different matter. When I was depressed I viewed my past as all *%#&¤?§* , well I viewed everything as *%#&¤?§* . I had a terrible childhood, past, the present was awful, the future was hopeless, I hated everyone and impractical myself. I sill have moments like that, but once I got out of the Depression and liked myself and others more the future didn’t seem so hopeless and neither did the past it had made me what I am which is a decent human and it was stuff to learn from. You say that you find it hard to let go and be in the present and I am wondering if you have tried meditation, which is something that as helped me in the past, I am not saying that meditation is going to make it all alright, but it definitely helped me to feel less in turmoil. Anyway Headcase hope you get some fresh legs soon…there's nothing like dancing for fresh legs…best thoughts Moonie