I often have dreams(spiritual tinkering) and wake up having some thoughts I just need to explore...and then I test the spirit of the thoughts by typing it here and matching it with the only truth I have ever known... The love I met in heaven... I mean the core God= love is true love love.... I mean love so strong that just to look on this most loving light would make returning to a body impossible...yet we fallen who turn our faces away from love...we who are on the roller coaster ride of death and dying... anyway...this being loves us enough to let us make our own mistakes...and let us figure out in our own way how to find our way back to love...

I have the constant memory of my Near Death Experience...before me...yet I stumble around with words because I just hope that somehow putting those raw words out there....even if no one ever reads them... may somehow slow to anger some soul...or maybe if I say my sayings then perhaps one person may anonymously reduce the misery of some stranger somewhere...but pushing the keys down and typing words that come from the love I found in my core NDE experience creates a vacuum therefore causing the absence of love to move toward the light causing the illusion of a tiny ripple of light... If the darkness rushes in to consume the downward pressure of the keys...in the in between place the darkness is turned away [by the light]...

I know I am recording spiritual things in a medium(words) that often fails to tell all of its secrets.... but I hope what comes through in my ramblings is the spirit of what I say...this is at least what I hope carries the day...

I also have a sense that words once written...have a life of their own... I want to give life to words that don't ignore the 300 lb gorilla in the room but also give a spirit of hope...

I don't know if that answered your question...but however awkwardly I said it... I also have a sense that I could have said everything I just typed with more economy of words... Sometimes when I write things it comes out as something that seems like poetry to me. It flows like a wave of light... but this response is not that... Maybe I can sleep on it and make more sense...or maybe you can read between the lines... a truth might be found in there somewhere...but as far as dying... there is only one truth... love survives this life...so whatever kind of cheap love.....or pure love....even the slightest inkling of love...or obscure love... all love is separated from unlove in the end.... so death has no hold on me... I am taking all of my love with me...[and why would I want to take any unlove with me anyway?] If death comes to me again.... I will leap toward it and if I stumble down death's path.... and I am looking up and not at the snare death puts before me on the ground...then I guess that is why I have all of these angels around...clearing the path for a fool...

Where does it come from?

It comes from a place of comprehending the mystery. Some mysteries can go on until the end but this mystery about God who is love and the lesser aspect of God who is not love
has not been articulated very well. I see the world does not understand what I clearly see yet they go on believing in a God that will not survive. I have been told that I march "to the tune of my own
drummer" but in my death I came to understand that there are many who are angry with God and they give up on God... or do not believe in God and I am okay with that but I did meet God in heaven and a better word for God is love but still I call love God because it is easier to understand for the religious seeker.

Many religious seekers long suffer for love and never find it...or find it for a fleeting moment and lose it...blaming it on God...but really it is we who conspired with the lesser God who is the absence of love to fall into the underworld from the side of love. If I can get across to those who have broken hearts that God in heaven loves them...no matter what...then perhaps I can reduce the anger that separation may cause for many people?

We mostly are born into whatever religion or absence of religion we have but I am trying to reveal the mystery of something that doesn't ask others to throw off their religion or lack of religion but rather to understand that there are two Gods revealed in all religions... If the God is jealous and angry... or if he or she is acting like an abusive parent then this parent is not worthy of our affection...there is no affection at all in this lesser being I met on my way back to my body in my NDE whom so many call God... a God who fills the ancient texts of so many religions...but the God in heaven... who is made of light is love...and loving kind and has affection for each of us as well... this being who I mostly communicate with today is not jealous and is not angry with you.

Those that have written religious texts often superimpose a lesser God over the top of the Greater aspect of God but the two are not one...
Hurting someone or breaking someone's heart may have been created by God's ego but it is only an aspect of God that runs rampant across the physical world...That jealous and angry lesser God I call the "Librarian" set up a system of rewards and punishments that demand from us obedience but there is no love or affection in this lesser being...the rewards this lesser being gives are illusion that die...yet very strong illusions none the less... but when time ends and time does end...this lesser dimension or aspect of God ends...so why do we chase after rewards that die? Why do we give ourselves over to a cruel overlord who does not love us? For me, I still slink back to the giver of rewards that die and the deliverer of punishments from time to time but I know from my NDE that when this all is through...the illusion of time forgotten
by the God who is love that we...each of us who has a soul or loving spirit(witnesses of love) within us will carry our love and the witnesses of our love with us and add our part to who God who is love is. We can waste our energy loving a lesser God that does not love us and we can fear a lesser God who will punish us but why waste the chance we have to be a part of what will survive this life? A simple act of kindness to a stranger carries more light in it then all of the worship to an angry and jealous God who gives us gifts for obedience and punishes us for our absence of love. I think I have to tell the story of my NDE because I was given a very special gift and it may not be well received by those who love an angry God that doesn't love them but that is their choice...

Mostly today I don't pray to God who is love but rather I try to stay in as constant a communication with God who is love as I can... I know very well that the greater portion of me is still begging for the rewards and punishments of the world but at least since my death and return to life I am not deceiving myself... When I play with fire I get burned by my willingness to burn and not because the God who is love wanted me to burn... Hopefully..there are those that can take some of what I have said and shape it into something they can use to form their own conclusions that frees them to love more freely with affection for strangers and those we love... We put on a blind that faces heaven when we fall into our mother's womb but we don't have to leave it on....