Welcome Ella!

For the past two weeks I have fasted for a few days at a time. I've decided to fast again starting today as well. I haven't decided how long yet but am encouraged by recent posts of those making it to day 10, 12, 14 ... I've never fasted that long but would love to give my body the opportunity to really detox fully. My tongue never cleared during previous fasts so I don't know how long that could take; I'm sure there are a lot of factors that I need to take into consideration. I'm not working this week so now is a better time then any right?

Have a great Day! I'll keep you posted.

oh yeah, i forgot to share. one reason why i want to do this fast is to heal my back from excruciating pain. i confess that sometimes i ignore my back and take risks ( i love athletics and my passion sometimes overrides my "common sense"_)

well, i don't want to mention exactly how i pulled my back out because it is embarrassing but suffice to say that i am SUFFERING!! from a LOT of back pain

i am still "functional" i can walk etc. but it does hurt when i try to touch my toes from a standing position which has never been the case.

since i first had that back incident, it has healed to a point then because it was weakened .... it was privy to being hurt again ( and it was pulled out AGAIN).. this happened three times serially with gaps in between

the first time it happened, i went to a chiropractor and an acupuncturist
i don't know if it helped. i think it did but then again.. i can't be sure.
its hard to tell. it did end up feeling better a couple of weeks afterwards.

well, i can't seem to stay away from certain athletic "events"
i've never had to "slow down" before... at least not like this
and i am not used to it. i kind of resent it. so , one of the reasons why i am fasting is that i figure that it will put my body in the best condition possible to activate , trigger and mobilize all and every thing in my body for healing

i can only do so many OUTSIDE "exercises" ( i was given a couple of back exercises)
chiropractic / acupuncture ( seems like a hit and miss in my experience even though, in general, i think highly of them)

at any rate, also... the other reason i am fasting is to

1) channel my compulsive cyclical thinking ( thoughts chasing their tails over and over and OVER again) to a way and process of thinking that is more amenable to who I am. In other words, I wish for my thoughts to respect me... not torture me by being so repetitive.

2) detoxify all my cells ( they could use it... for real)

3) move from living from "fear" to living out of "love". I know this is possible and I, being a very ambitious person, am willing to prove this to myself because ...well, what else IS there to DO?

4) close the gap between my "loneliness" . there is being at peace and feeling solace when i am solitary.. and then there is the terribly mistifying feeling of this unspeakable loneliness even when I have decent friends... a few, which I really look up to, admire and respect... however, that just does NOT seem to be ENOUGH for me. Sometimes, I feel that the reason why I always get to know my friends up to a POINT is because I don't want them to know the part of me that is shaking and afraid and hurt. I figure that if I go on a fast, I won't be so truncated from my spirit ( which happens when I stuff myself with foods (healthy or not.. a binge is still a binge and its ruinous to my health).

5) let go of my fear of death. I know i'm too young to be thinking such thoughts however I don't think I am so alone in this. I mean, sometimes I am wondering, why even go on at all? It just confuses me why I am even here. Perhaps I could rephrase it as letting go of my fear of life.. which sounds strange to me since I am a far more passionate person than the average person but maybe its cuz I feel that at any moment, something might happen ( like I could be sideswiped by a car for instance.. i've ALWAYS had fears.. though i try to bury them deeeeeeeeeep that a car will end up causing me great injury.. don't ask me why.. since i've never been in an accident before.. but i get these nightmares, sometimes...strangely enough)

6) be more genuine. sometimes i feel its hard for me to be genuine with other people when i am afraid of their judgement(s) or when i am so busy judging them. its like i have these blinders on so much of the time.. and i am hardly aware of them.. until... a bit of light enters.. and its like the blinders dissolve and i can "see" a person for the greatness that they really are... even a total stranger.. everyone has greatness within... i really believe this

7) i have sooo many dreams that i wish to continue fulfilling but all of them hinge on cultivating my spirit to its highest form... everything else follows... and it just seems impossible to do this when my cells are so distracted from previous toxins etc.

8) I want to be in awe of life ( once again).

9) I want to be ready to take on any challenges, not with fear, but with a sense of wonder. I have to admit that this has been lacking from my life. Lately, I have been ( though not wholly) projecting fear into the future. My future is so uncertain. So many things are hanging in the balance. I wish to see it as an adventure. This way of seeing things will be helped during the fast. I know this because I've fasted before and I've felt this "sense" most keenly when I am fasting.

10) Perhaps this is a repetition of #9 but it bears my own emphasis ( to myself). I want to be okay with the uncertainty of life. I want to be able to take advantage of this uncertainty to open up endless opportunities spiritually, mentally, emotionally etc. This is perhaps one of my truer goals and most difficult but probably most worthwhile thing to cultivate. I don't know how else to do this except to have a MAJOR overhaul in my celullar paradigm thus fasting.

i said i would postpone my fast in a previous post but i think i will just go ahead and start . i have been reading a lot of the posts here and it has been encouraging me. i don't feel so alone anymore. i think its going to be great and even yesterday i've kept true to form by sticking to the clean foods ( fruits, veggies)only.


i think what helps me is waking up early in the morning. otherwise my entire bio rhythmic clock seems to be set off and it determines the rest of the day. i think matching my clock with my fasting and everything else will be key to making this successful. so i thought i;d just say hello to all you fearless fasters and jump right into the ocean with you wonderful people!

so here i am:)
the water feels great btw