Hey, Ren --

I'm sorry to hear you sounding blue and hope that things will take a turn for the better. Several years ago I felt the same things -- financial insecurity was overwhelming, I felt that I would never have kids, seemed stuck in the same old rut, etc. -- and with a little work and openmindedness I was able to get taken to the other side of that.

I do believe that God will ALWAYS provide what we need when we are in service to others, and that having children is all about service -- that should not be a block for you all. I have had to get over a few ideas I had about how being a parent should "look from the outside" financially -- but I have found that I have always been provided for with my girls, sometimes in really mysterious ways.

It is a real leap of faith though because when you have kids you are in part giving yourself more completely to God's vision for you and letting go of a lot of Self.

About your SIL, I pray that you are able just to see that she is a spiritually sick person just like many of us and to love what and how you can around her and leave the rest alone. "Water off a duck's back!"

Miss you over at the OP forum.

Laura