is it any wonder i dont like doctors. thanks to marjie at earthboppin:

M.D. Auto Repair...


Let's say you took your car to a Medical Doctor for a
diagnoses/repair. Your car happens to have a leaky oil pan. Just a
few bolts need to be torqued down to stop the problem, along with a
couple quarts of oil added. You know nothing about cars, you only
know that you were driving down the road when the `check engine'
light came on.

Your M.D. seems rushed, he spends only a couple of minutes with you,
doesn't even look at the car, but to stop your anxiety caused by the
check engine light coming on, he writes you a prescription (Rx), it
is for a small piece of black tape to cover the `check engine light'
so it doesn't annoy you anymore. The tape is very expensive, special
FDA approved tape that is only available by prescription, but
luckily, after your deductible, it is covered by your insurance. So
you leave his office feeling relieved and in good hands.

A few days later your car is starting to make a `ticking' sound from
the lifters and valves not being properly lubricated. So you make
another appointment and return to the doctor. He sends your car for
some tests, expensive diagnostics that are luckily, also covered by
your insurance, again, after you pay the deductible. The results
come back a couple of weeks later. He calls you into his office for
the prognosis, he tells you that the car is leaking oil, and gives
you another prescription (Rx) for some expensive motor oil that is
again FDA approved. You now need to monitor your oil level, and for
several months, continue to add this expensive motor oil to your
engine when it is low. A few times you were required to go to his
office for a follow-up visit as his nurse checked your oil level for
you, and he renewed your prescription for the Rx motor oil.

At one point you notice that the oil is getting on the muffler and
there is an odor of burning oil, and it is also getting on your
driveway. So you return to your Doctor to let him know. He lays out
your options for you, and offers up an `in-office procedure' to
install a metal splash guard so the oil no longer gets on your
muffler, and writes you a prescription for a drip-pan with sand in it
to protect your driveway. You ask if there is anything else that can
be done. He recommends a new automotive-drug, it is a liquid gasket
sealer that is poured in with the motor oil, he said that it may stop
the leak altogether, and then goes on to give you a list of possible
("but rare") side effects. You fill the prescription, it is quite
costly, then you add the solution to your motor oil.

In the beginning, your car seems to be leaking less, and the smell of
burning oil is hardly noticeable. You are adding less of the
expensive prescription motor oil, but still having to add it, along
with more of the prescription liquid gasket sealer. You are using the
prescribed drip-pan faithfully to protect your driveway, and paying a
service which he recommended, to come in change the sand in it, on a
weekly basis. As the months go by you notice that your car is
sluggish, and has a loss of power and the ticking sound from the
engine is getting worse. Shortly after, it is starting to burn oil
through the exhaust, and you notice blue smoke when you start it. You
return to the doctor to let him know what is happening, and he sends
you for more tests. He then calls you in for the prognosis. He tells
you that your car's valve seals are going, you remember that this was
on the (rare but possible) side effects list. When you bring this up,
he tells you that it has nothing to do with the prescribed sealer.
He recommends a tune up for the loss of power, and another Rx
additive which may help with the valve seal problem. You take his
recommendation, because, who are you to question his judgement?

After these costly procedures, the car only gets worse, it barely
wants to drive and is now burning oil constantly. You call the Doctor
back and he notifies you that he did all that he can do, and refers
you to a specialist. The specialist runs a series of tests, many
which your first doctor had already done, but he said he just wanted
to see if anything had changed. His prognosis is that your piston
rings are shot, as is the camshaft, valves, and lifters, and the car
now has great loss of compression, and mentioned that perhaps these
problems were caused by the long term use of the prescription
additives, "which you were using". He then recommends surgery to
repair the problems. During the surgery (engine overhaul),
complications arise, apparently when the cylinder heads were off,
during the procedure, some how, a couple of screws ended up getting
into the cylinders. When the motor was started after the procedure,
the whole engine blew up. The cylinders were gouged by the loose
screws and now the engine block is beyond repair. The company that
made your car no longer makes this engine, and unfortunately, a donor
(used engine) was not available, so your car is now D.O.A. The
Doctor's response, "I'm sorry, we did all that we could do".

Thank God Doctors Do not work on cars!