I agree totally but would add that the best advice at this point is to leave and get distance on the dysfunctional relationship now. Leaving and becoming self sufficient will greatly change the dynamic. Only when she's self sufficient will her mother ever realize that she'll have to interact in the future on her daughters terms.

At that point, given the mother's appearent own weaknesses, Red will be surprised to find her Mother is now all of a sudden dependant on her. But none of that can happen until there is completele self sufficiency on Red's part. And it's also only after the point of complete self suffiency that sincere forgiveness will be possible.