This is a follow-up to my own post. I saw a urologist today, and he had a female Physician's Assistant with him. Well, he did an exam including the DRE and then she performed one as well. Not to be funny, but there certainly was a difference. I'd say his DRE was far more intense and "aggresive" than hers. I think too, it depends on the person's finger length, and how large it is, and how they conduct the exam.
Anyway, he spoke with me, checked my records and just to be on the safe side had a PSA done and had me give a urine sample. He didn't think there was anything wrong based on his DRE of me. Worst part of the whole deal was having a 2 1/2 hour wait to see him!