Hi. My older brother has just recently come out of the closet. His soon to be ex-wife did not like our family too much, and he slowly alienated himself from the family….now I wonder if he really did it because of her. Anyhow…it’s been a couple of years since we have spoken, and I just recently found out that he left his wife of over 15 years after revealing to her that he was gay, just a month ago. I love my brother, and I want him to know that I am here for him. I am looking for advice on what/ how to approach him. Like I said, he alienated himself years ago….maybe he does not want us to bother him? Well, I wrote him a letter, in hopes of finding his new address soon. Will all of you read this…and tell me what you think….too much…to impersonal…to personal…for siblings who have not spoken in at least 2 years? Obviously, names have been changed….any advice is GREATLY appreciated.

Hi Kenny,

I just wanted to say hi and let you know that I heard about your pending divorce, and your new move. I hope your doing well, and if you ever need anything, like a helping hand with the kids, or if you just want to get together, I’m here. Divorce stinks, no matter how you look at it, so I can only imagine how difficult these past couple of months must have been for you. I also can’t tell you how much I admire your strength. It takes a lot of courage to stand up for what you believe in, in a world where people can be so prejudice and flat out ignorant. I hope you’re getting the respect and happiness that you so deserve.
Since we have not talked in quite a while, I have to tell you what has been going on over here. Ted and I got married 2 years ago in October, and we brought a house in xxxx, 2 years ago this February. He’s a really nice guy, and really friendly, I think you’d like him. Beth and Robby love him to death. He’s nothing but a big kid himself, so I think that’s why they all get along so well. He’s in the reserves and works (which is minutes away from where we live) doing civilian work as well, xxx management to be exact. I finally got my act together and decided last year to get myself enrolled in school. I’m on my second year, and I’m so proud to say that I maintain a 4.0 GPA and received a full scholarship for this current school year because of it. I never knew I had it in me, as I’m sure many other people thought too, but thanks to a wonderful teacher who took me under his wing, my confidence flourished and now I’m excelling beyond my wildest dreams. After this year is over, I’ll be transferring to xxxxx, which is a really well known all female college. I can’t wait for that. I’m majoring in Psychology….go ahead, laugh…but I think it takes a person who’s gone through a lot of craziness to really appreciate this field. My original intention was to get into the therapy end of it, but I’m currently taking a biopsychology class that is so incredibly interesting, I may decide to head down that road instead. So, if you ever need any therapy, let me know…ha, ha, I’m just kidding. I usually get a huge “YEAH, RIGHT” when I say it to my friends, who KNOW I’m nuts. Beth and Robby are doing great as well. I still have contact with Mark, and the kids talk to him about once a month. He was not paying child support until last year, when the state of Florida finally found out where he was working and attached his pay. Then in June, he left his job to start another one, and of course, it took until last week for them to find him again, and they will begin attaching his pay within the next two weeks. Unfortunately, he does not see them much. The last time they saw him was over a year ago. But, like I said, he calls about once a month, and the fact that Ted is really hands on with them, I think they’re okay with it. Even though he won’t willingly pay child support, he still always makes it a point to call…which is obviously the most important thing anyways. They know that he’s only a phone call away if they want to talk to him. I held true to my commitment to never talk a bad word about him, and I’m so glad I did. There are those times I wanted to so badly, but I stick to my guns and just vent on Ted instead. His parents divorced when he was 7, and his situation was similar to Beth and Robby’s now, so he really understands how they feel, and the importance of not talking bad about a parent.
So, have I put you to sleep yet? Sorry this is so long, but I just wanted to fill you in. I’ll leave you my house and cell number. I wanted so badly to call you when mom told me about you, but I figured you’re probably dealing with enough right now. But I’ll warn you, I’ll refrain from calling you for only so long!  So, get in touch with us when you have some spare time. I’ll be thinking of you, and will definitely keep you and your kiddo’s in my prayers! One more thing….I almost didn’t type this, but what the hell, I’ll just say it. The fact that you are no longer denying your own right to happiness may seem like a selfish act to those ignorant people that I spoke of earlier, but it is not. You’re being honest with yourself, and that is the best gift you can give your kids. They are much better off in the long run, seeing their dad happy, rather than having a dad who was miserable inside. They sense that stuff, as you well know. You SO did the right thing, and screw anyone who tells you any different. I hope to hear from you!