SPICE'S STORY

I had met this man at my job. I thought he was pretty nice, easy to talk to, could talk about my past with him,...etc. We became pretty good friends. He started to coming over to my home that I co-owened with a good friend of mine at the time. He wouldn't stay long, he'd have a few beers with me and made sure he put a smile on my face before he would leave to go home.

Then one day, around my birthday, I was drinking heavily and he happened to come over to my house at about 2 in the morning...telling me how he liked me and then he kissed me. From then on, he wouldn't leave my side.

After 6 months, he was drinking more and more. One day, I said something about it and 'wham!', right across my head. That started something I never thought would happen to me. More and more he began to hit me. The more I cried, the more pleasure he would take in it and hit me harder.

Eventually, I ended up moving out of the home I co-owned with my friend. I was 6 months pregnant by now, and he forced me to move in with his parents. You see, not only did he have a 'force' with his hands, but with his words as well. There went that friendship with that important person that I had know for a long time.
Well anyway, we moved into his parents basement and the beatings got worse. His beatings were landing me on my back on the hard floor...6 months pregnant. I screamed everytime, but no one from his family came to help me.

I tried leaving many times, but he would take the keys or pull the wires out on my car so I couldn't leave. I couldn't tell anyone because he threatened to kill me if I did. Towards the end of my pregnancy, my parents helped me get into another trailer...for awhile he had laid off on the hitting.

Then I had my child and he was in the neonatal unit because of pnemonia, so he had to be hospitalized for 3 days. The day my...our child finally came home from the hospital, while my child was laying on the couch next to me...he beat the crap out of me because I mentioned his drinking again.

See, he hit me in the head so many times and threw a plate across the room (which hit me in the knee and lower leg...causing a blood clot in there) and that day I couldn't even walk to go and get my child a bottle. I asked him for help, but he said he was too tired and went to bed...not caring that I couldn't walk....because of him.

Not even a month later, he gave me another blood clot in the other leg (around the same area as the first one), only this time it was caused by his fist. Then another month goes by, and while highly intoxicated, he told me..."If you ever try to leave me, I will kill you and you'll never see your child again" and "I will get coustody of our child and take him out of state to make sure you never seen him again."
That night when I finally got the courage to fight back, I recieved a beating 10 times worse. He held a knife to my throat, r*ped me, knocked me unconscious, and leaving bruises all over my body and face.

Now, I have indentions in my head (where he's hit me so many times), one scar on each leg (which I still have problems with to this day), problems with my right shoulder and arm, my memory isn't so good, and I have a hard time sorting things out in my mind. I can't go anywhere without always looking over my shoulder. I don't take my son out without someone with me...in case he tries to take him.

I never went to the police with any of this nor did I tell the doctor how I really got the blood clots. If I did, I honestly believe deep in my soul, that I wouldn't be here today...telling you my story. I have gone to court though, and I have full custody of my child and a personal protection order against this awful person. My child has never seen 'the father' AKA 'sperm donor' and as long as I can help it, he never will.

I live my life day by day. I thank God everyday for my parents, because if it wasn't for them and their help, I would still be in that 'hell'. I am also thankful for my friends that were there for me through all of this. I will never forget what he did to me, but now after 2 years away from him...I know I can be happy once again.

Thank you for listening to my story and for those suffering now, I know what you're going through. If I can get help and get away...and most importantly survive, then so can you. That's a promise.

I live day by day. I will be just fine. I am a survivor.
By Spice 5-25-01