Not a good start. Since Tuesday, I've been going to bed at 7AM and waking up around 5PM due to my major jet lag! Well, I went to bed at 9AM, couldn't fall asleep, then woke up at 1PM. Woke up to a pain on my left neck and shoulder. It hurts to move my head...must've slept wrong. I know I was tossing and turning during my sleep because I had really stressful dreams.

As a habit, I strolled over to the refrigerator, opened it, and saw the yummy burrito. All these thoughts entered my mind...."Oh, I can start tomorrow.", "it's stll early, i can eat a little and still lose a little weight". Then my friend who I haven't seen since before my trip. He asked me if I was going out at all. I said no....because I'm so fat now. He also told me this guy I really like asked about me. haha. That certainly gave me the determination to stay on this fast. Pathetic, huh.

Last month I weighed 129 after my last fast. I maintained it for a few weeks, then my Ausralia trip started. ugh. Being around your family and relatives suck. Basically, they'd call me over for every meal. Wouldn't stop yelling for me until I was at the table. And at the table, they would put food on my plate. In my culture, it's really rude to turn down food at someone elses house. All their yelling out for me and comments annoyed me, so after a few day, I succumbed to my weakness and old habits.

After many failed starts, i weighed in at 145.8 this morning. Ugh. With 31.3% body fat. Another ugh. If I only started on Tuesday (or earlier), I would've been under 140! Crap. Okay. Can't look in the past. If I did, I would shoot myself right now. Look forward, stay strong.

My goal is to do a 30 day fast...at least 10 for sure. During the month, I will be drinking some juice, only a little bit, when I need energy to work. I do alot of running around, but will try my hardest to abstain from the juice...AND FOOD!

This posting is very long. Trying to keep myself busy, which means I'll be posting alot of messages during my fast! BE STRONG!