Yesterday evening I got a phone call from a male friend. I've been friends with him and his wife for over 20 years. His wife moved out this weekend and took the kids. He was distraught. I'll call him John and I'll call his wife Ann. This is the story.

About 1-1/2 years ago John decided that there was a better life for him out there, and told Ann he wanted a divorce. Ann couldn't believe it. He was her whole world, and she was the consummate wife and mother. Everything she did was for the love of her husband and children.

Now, John thought the whole world revolved around him too. He really didn't spend that much time with the kids. He had stopped showing Ann very much affection. He continually asked her to do everything though (she handled all the cooking, cleaning, bill paying, children issues, taxes, side business, etc), which she did, and left her exhausted every night. But she did it without complaining. She wasn't the best housekeeper, and many days she didn't put on makeup (Ann is beautiful). She worked really hard. But John thought that's what Ann was supposed to do, after all, that was her "job".

One day, John told Ann that she was not the wife he wanted, and these were not the perfect children and house he wanted. He said he wanted a divorce, and that she better move out, because, after all, it was his house.

Ann spent the next 6 months crying. She didn't work, she didn't know where to go or what to do. She was paralyzed, while John continued to sleep in their bed and continued to ask her to leave. Ann told me that she wanted her husband back, but didn't know what to do.

Ann joined a self help group, and started seeing a private therapist. Her therapist suggested that she take up photography again, as this gave her a lot of pleasure. The next thing you know, Ann was getting photography jobs. She joined a local photography group that networked. John was livid that Ann was doing this, as it took away from her other duties. Ann kicked him out of the bedroom. She, however never argued with him, and tiptoed around the house, as he was very angry that she was still living in his house.

Then Ann went to a lawyer. John thought this was Ann's duty, as she was the one that did all the other paperwork. Ann started to see John for exactly what he was.

Ann found a friend in the support group that was moving out and selling her house. She had been in an abusive relationship. Together, they decided to rent a big house, and move their combined three children into it. Ann was thrilled not to have to do this alone, and the two women would support each other through their first year without their marriage.

Ann moved two weekends ago, out of their home, that John cannot pay the mortgage by himself. Three days ago John was served the divorce papers, and Ann asked for full custody of the children. The house is to be sold, and the profit split. John was furious that she would do that. Then it hit him. Ann really wasn't such a bad wife, really.

John called Ann to talk about getting together to talk about the divorce. Ann said that they could talk at the lawyers office. Ann was done.

Do I really need to tell you what the moral of the story is? If you have a partner that you've been taking for granted for awhile, you might want to spend this weekend with your eyes wide open. Once they're gone...they are gone.