Clearly you are determined to ask for advice and summarily reject it. That's why I'm going to be brutal. Because I know you won't listen anyway.

I'm 22 and going through a painful divorce. The relationship began as extraordinarliy long distance (10,000 miles), different hemispheres! Take it from one who knows, don't agonise.

I won't tell you that your relationship is definitely going to end, but look at the signs... your girlfriend is clearly moving on and living and learning and experimenting during her college years as we all should. if you claim she never drank, smoked up etc. before she went away, then the red flags are up that she is changing as a person, and if you are not partial to or approving of these changes, then you need to let her know. Look for even the smallest sign or gut feeling that she's changing from what you know, cut your losses, so in 6 months you don't get the classic long-distance college breakup routine.

I know your feelings are real. I know even contemplating this shit sucks man, I really do. I was kidding myself for three years before I woke up and realised the cure wasn't more painful than the disease.

Immediately, you must FOSTER RELATIONSHIPS at your school. Get out there, meet people. You shouldn't rely on talking to her every night on the phone. That's sad indeed. Get out there and get a life and friends of your own at school and before long you will see that the heartache of being apart begins to hurt less - and at that point, you won't be codependant on her any more, and if you two kept the relationship going, it would be for all the right reasons, rather than just the fact that you are lonely.

one man's take - good luck
benzy