All this stuff holds me back mentally, I'm a smart guy but I just can't get my life together get married, get a career get a house etc.

Thanks

I don't think it would be wise for me to tell you what you should do with your life. One of the challenges you must face is deciding for yourself what to do. A part of your issue is waiting for something to happen that could take you out of that limbo. You would not benefit in any way if someone else would determine your life's path. It is all your's to decide. Search for your passion, what excites you and hold that vision in your heart. Take the courage to take a first step in that direction, and even if you are afraid of falling, you will find that it is the most important one. Flying is an important part of your life. Your near death experience was necessary because in your last life, you were shot down in an airplane and suffered great trauma. This time, you got sick before you stopped flying because that trauma came back into your subconscious memory at that time and you tried avoiding a repeat situation (not that it would have happened)through the sickness. If you resonate with Sacred Santemony (see my website), we could work with this.

Andreas

Oh my goodness, I got a chill reading your message. I was reading through different sites and voila, your message. How weird is this. I also was a commercial airline pilot. I was a captain with a commuter airline. I had a couple of very; scary near-death experiences (or so that could have easily become the outcome) while flying in a very short period of time. I even documented the experiences on tape and the Airline Pilots Association transcribed it and kept a copy in case there was legal action (some were serious mechanical problems/failures).

I use to wake up in the middle of the night reliving some of the moments in a panic attack. That is when alot of my problems started and also when I started to age quicker. Subsequently, I got pregnant, took time off work to care for my child and never returned. I couldn't. I still occasionally have nightmares. I haven't flown a plane since.

I always tell people I am probably the most educated, unemployed person they will ever meet. I was a tax accountant before I became a pilot. Anyways, I feel for you. I don't know what the answer is, but I have been doing the MC, liver flushes, and now I am starting a parasite cleanse. I eat mostly raw and am always looking for new suggestions. I know the "fog" feeling you are experiencing. It is like you are trying to forget, but you are forgetting everything in the process. Good luck and Aloha