Dear Hally,

Doesn't matter how difficult your make own life by making the choices you made, including choosing your own parents and the land your are born into, the reasons behind all of that are positive ones. Even putting yourself into a situation of financial limitations that restrict you in your desire to seek support and assistance from others who take a fee for their service, in no way reflects lack of desevability or weakness on your behalf. Quite the opposite, only very strong souls venture forth into such terrains of "adversity" and desperation. They cut themselves off external support systems or crutches because they are trying to take it all, and to remove the heavy cross they are carrying without anyone helping them. They face the loneliness of the soul before it merges with the world they are afraid of. Afraid of being judged by the world, they no longer trust in their own judgment. The fear of being mistaken or making mistakes causes them panic and sleepless nights. I want to enourgage you to make mistakes in your life. Give yourself the permission to make mistakes so that you release the judgments from those who have criticized and punished you for making them in the past. Invite the judgemnts from others so that they can heal their own wounds. Anyone who is critical of what you do or say doesn't actually criticize you, he critizes himself. He just needs a mirror (you) to see his own reflection. A truly loving, happy, enlightened person will never see your faults because he doesn't see them in himself. As the saying goes, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, he will see you exactly as he sees himself. You can make a throusand mistakes a day, and he will love you for it. It is not about being perfect in life, but how we perceive its imperfections. The person who you really wish to be is one who accepts your flaws and weaknesses as well and readily as your gifts and strengths. When you accept your shadow side without trying to change it, you will attract people into your life that don't have the need to diminish you in any way. Stay the way you are right now, and accept it all, and be proud of it, and you will make it possible for others to do the same. People around you will suddenly change their behaviour towards you (perhaps not to others) because you have changed your mirror. They have no choice but reflect you in a different way. You are never a victim of anything, even if it appears that way. There are always choices to be made. You can chose to cleanse your body, and heal your emotions by doing so. You can eat healthier foods and your emotions will reflect that. And if you don't want to do that, don't punish yourself; instead be happy 't that you just exercised your free will. Look for the positive element in every negative thing; you will always find one. Then dwell on it. You will discover that all your life's experiences suddenly will make sense to you. All the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle will come together and create the larger picture, your life's purpose. Long before, your self value will have increased by a thousand-fold.

Blessings,
Andreas