noni-man.....I can't believe I'm going to take the time to respond to this post on
a Sunday morning...my busiest day of the week. But I skimmed curezone really quick
like I do every morning...and I just can't resist. First of all...my post is long...but I hope you will read to the end. And while you may think parts of it
sound 'cranky'...please read to the end...because there IS a solution to your
problem. And I hope you'll begin TODAY to turn your life around. We go through
this life one time ... what a shame for you to blow the whole thing...it doesn't
have to be that way.

You say you've been married 25 years...so I'm assuming you're around 45 years old. So I'm just wondering....when are you going to grow up and take responsibility for
your own life and quit waiting for someone else to 'walk you through it'? I just
see things all thru your post that make me go..."Oh my GOSH!"..."MY WORD!!!"...and
THEN you have the nerve to say 'you can't help yourself'. HOGWASH!!!

You started off by saying your dad was a man of God...a spiritual leader with the
LDS in Utah...and most of your life was about dealing with being the son of your
dad. Well, my dad is an old fashioned baptist preacher...been preaching 59 years...
is about to turn 82 years old and still preaching. And I have felt blessed...not
cursed having been raised in a christian family.

I'm not going in to your internet and dating problem...except to say you have not
dated 40 + 'ladies'. Where is your brain...gone on VACATION??? "Ladies" do not
date married men...nor do they 'chat' on adult websites...or even GO there. So
the first thing you need to do is have someone come in and put a block on your computer...with a code you cannot decipher...and never EVER go to adult websites
again. FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!!!!! When you go to those websites...you are dealing with the scum of the earth!!! So does THAT make you feel like a better man??? Why
would you even consider doing this??? You have a wife who is trying to help you
stay afloat and kids you need to be doing things with. And do you mean you have
actually 'dated' people in your home area? WHY????? If you have the energy to put
into a relationship...you need to be putting it into the one with your wife!
Let's quickly look at 'this' scenario...you look
out the front door...and your yard is full of rattlesnakes...for some reason...you're attracted to rattlesnakes...and your own little personal world is
just full of them...all shapes and sizes...each one is different in it's own little
way...you just feel like you've struck gold..."man...a yard full of rattlesnakes...
how lucky can I get?" But when you go out and try to 'mess' with those rattlesnakes...you find that they're not quite as 'good' as they look...and every
time you try to play with one you get bit. How many of those rattlesnakes are you
going to mess with before your brain clicks in and tells you...HEY, man...rattlesnakes are NOT for me!!! Why would you even need to be told this?


THen you say you had an income of about $12,000 a month for 2 years...just quickly
figuring...isn't that about $288,000.00? GADS!!! Where did it GO? You say all your
life you've had trouble earning enough money for your family...WHY? People are
supposed to grow up...acquire a mature brain...find and settle in to a good job they
can retire from...whether that be at Home Depot...or in some corporate office...and
then they live within their means. My husband retired...2 years ago at age 58...
from the local plant. We had saved all our lives so he could retire early. We have
a good wad put back...we can do pretty much what we want...but we live on very little money. It IS there if we want it for anything...travel, etc...but we don't
dwell on our money...because money doesn't buy happiness...."stuff" doesn't buy
happiness....you've got to acquire what you need down deep inside ... to be happy.
We are about the happiest two people you would ever come across...our home is very
simple...but very appealing..we've even been in home tours. But it's a little place we
built about 31 years ago (we've been together 41 yrs)...it's in the country...it's
very neat and homey...like a step back in time...but we have very little money in
this whole place. NEVER EVER let yourself believe that money will bring you happiness. The richest people in the world are not the happiest...because the more
they have...the more they think they need...just like you did...where in the name
of Pete did all of that money go? So if you want to be happy...and I'm going to tell you in a minute how to do that....forget being a bigshot..or trying to outdo
the Joneses...because the Joneses with all their big flashy cars and their mansion
are not as happy as you might think....

And don't blame this on ADHD...and don't let anyone medicate you for ADHD. I've
lived my life with attention deficeit...and except for being extremely hyper...
and occasional brain fog...it's never really given me a problem.

OK...so what to do!!! You need to get down on your hands and knees and turn your
problems over to God!!! Each morning...before you ever get out of bed...ask God
to guide you through the day. NEVER EVER allow a bad thought to enter your mind...
block it if it tries. Get out there and find a good job...if you don't currently
have one...and WORK IT!!! Spend all that time and energy you were spending on
the trash...on your wife and family. Get back to 'real' nature...take your family
for hikes in the woods...roast marshmallows in the back yard...pitch horseshoes or
washers in the back yard with your wife and kids. This may sound 'hoaky' to you...
but my husband and I do all of these things...and we've done them with our kids even
since they've grown up.

Men and women both...have a tendency to think the grass is greener somewhere else.
But 'green' grass is one of 2 things. It's either fresh new grass that you've just
put down...or it's grass that has been nurtured and pampered and cared for...so it
holds it's color. A relationship is the same way. A couple meets and falls in love...and everything is so wonderful...the butterflies...the weak knees...the
pounding heart...but then that couple usually marries and settles in for the long
haul where 'life' takes over. They get busy with work, meals, cleaning, mowing the
lawn, paying bills...and before you know it...they have put their 'lawn' (relationship) on the back burner. When a relationship is new...both parties put
their best foot forward...they go out of their way to look their best...be their
best...and pamper the daylights out of their new love. But unfortunately 'all'
relationships will lose it's 'spark and color' if it isn't pampered, and nurtured..
and taken care of. It is vitally important that you always put your wife and kids
at the top of your priority list.

You need to do a lot of praying...get on a healthy diet...walk daily...get out in
the fresh air...block all unclean thoughts from your mind. And turn your life
around. I'm sorry to have sounded cranky...that usually isn't me...so many people
have told me...and tell me all the time that I have the patience of a saint. Not
quite so...but I've been told that. But your post just had so many red flags waving
like crazy...it made ME crazy. YOU and only you can turn your life around...so just
grow up and do it!!! If you're ready to be healed...the healing is there for you...
all you have to do is reach out and grab it.

Life is what you make of it...always has been...and always will be!!! kathryn