Hello Implode,
Glad to hear from you. I know, at times, it's hard not to freak out, but the last thing you want to happen is that you become like your tormentors. I know that you intend to use the gun only for protection, but it is EXTREMELY unlikely that a loaded gun can be used for protection against a crazy person. Sane and reasonable people (such as soldiers or even most criminals) will take the threat of gunfire seriously and the gun will be a deterrent to their intended actions, but your mother is not sane enough to take a threat seriously. You are not going to be able to ONLY threaten her with that gun without actually using it, and you CERTAINLY don't want to do that. Using that gun is TABU, it must NEVER happen. It is OUT OF THE QUESTION. Do you understand? You must brainwash yourself into believing that you will never use a gun on your mother. IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. But you must also realize that if you do get a gun, the temptation to use it will be unbearable. There are not many people on earth who could own a gun and not use it. Also realize that guns cause the other person to react with deadly force and can actually instigate a worse confrontation. If there is a possibillity of you going into the Police Academy (I haven't forgotten), then you must learn to keep a cool head when under pressure and respect LIFE above all. When you came onto this forum, it was like a love story unfolding, a love story between you and "Goodness", hoping to find people in the world who really care. WE DO CARE. You need to consider the possibility of going to jail for the rest of your life. You need to consider what it would be like living with your conscience even if it was declared self-defense (self-defense is very hard to prove). Even manslaughter carries a jail term. Jail would make you a different person (the kind you don't want to be). Even in self-defense, your conscience would haunt you for the rest of your life. Don't get a gun, get out of the house. At this point, any friend, at work or somebody else, would be a good roommate to move in with. I once belonged to the YMCA, there is also a YWCA (Young WOMEN'S christian Association). They have dormitories where people live (usually cheap rent). This is your greatest fear, that you become like her.
YOU are always in my prayers

NOW IS THE MOMENT OF TRUTH!




God bless you,
been there, done that