I had been going to a nutritionist for my skin problems and red cheeks, he said I should detox. Spent a good thousand dollars on this bastard, he gave me some tins of "OptiCleanse" formula, which seemed to consist of just vitamins and a bunch of funny crap I've never heard of. I went through SIX of these tins, to no avail. My bowel movements didn't change in the slightest. After I'd finished being depressed I look back and realise the hilarity of the whole situation. He probably looks back and laughs too though, he got all my money.

Crossing my fingers that all this bowel cleansing, liver flushing, fasting, sitz-bathing will pay off.