zenotter
I have a Christian friend that tells me that we should forgive but never forget. He says that what a poitician did 30 years ago should be held against them today as it is a sign of their character.
Life is about growing and learning. My personal observations of life lead me to believe that it is about experiencing and choosing to let go of Hate in our lives and our hearts.
The only time or reason when our mistakes will follow us until the end of time is when we are in the company of judgemental people who refuse to honor or forgive themselves as they grow and therefore refuse to honor the growth of others and refuse to forgive them of their mistakes as they grow more loving in this life as a result of their experiences.
It is pretty sad to see someone like you condemning someone for turning away from anger and hatred. It is as if your own anger and hatred make you want to punish others for not having been born perfect. It is as if because you will not allow yourself to move forward do to guilt or self-loathing, that you wish to deny others their right to grow as well
I hope you can find a way to be more gentle and kind to yourself and eventually find a way to forgive yourself for those things you hate yourself for. It is only through learning to love and honor yourself and your own life priocess that you can learn to honor the lives of others and be joyfull as they find peace and love.