I tend to experiment on myself, which may not be the wisest practice one can indulge in. When eating only of fruits (excluding nuts and seeds) my appetite wanes as my sense of satisfaction waxes; my skin becomes clearer, my movements swifter, my thinking sharper; in fact, my whole persona changes and I generally feel far more content with my “lot” in this degenerating void of existence. I am rather anti-social (“socially aloof,” one might say) at the best of times, but retire from “life” all the more so when existing on a perfect fruitarian diet (when I say “perfect” I am referring to quality of fruits, amount eaten and time of meal) - this, I feel, is due to my increased sense of spirituality; the aforementioned contentment in simply existing in an ascetic state of bliss. To speak in an incredibly primitive fashion, I simply feel alive when eating only of fruits; in fact, my consciousness alters dramatically, making my previous existence seem like a dream I lament on occasion but can smile about knowing I am no longer there…

My previous twenty six years were miserable; my moods shifted in an instant for no good reason, from suicidal, depressed and self-destructive to vengeful and bordering on murderous. I note that when I eat even one meal of “non-human” food I experience a swift return to my old ways and feelings, not so much in the depressive sense but wishing to do harm to myself for inflicting such poisonous waste on my physical vessel. As is surely all too clear, I still class myself in the “transitional” phase, even when having eaten nothing but grapes and pineapple for weeks; I am still aware that I am not entirely free of my past life, and perhaps more importantly, the emotional damage it has inflicted upon me. To be blunt, I do not feel as if I am the same being; my entire outlook on “life” and all creation has shifted from hateful, malignant “Satanist” (and I have the tattoos to prove it, much to my dismay) to one who, to all intents and purposes, is experiencing salvation through an ascetic existence.

My response may not answer all your questions, and if I have forgotten to address a specific matter then I sincerely apologize. Please feel free to ask any questions you may have of me, however personal, and I shall endeavour to answer them as fully as I can at this time.

Take care,


Lee.