Hmmm...perhaps you need to *confess* more details, but it seems to me that you have done some short lemonade fasts, done some 10 days *Cleanses*, but at worst are guilty of using the lemonade as meal replacements. I have done this and average a day a week on the lemonade and this is a good behavior to encourage in one's self. Perhaps you prefer to label yourself as an addict as yet another way to control your lifestyle habits, however, however awkward, using The Master Cleanse to *fall forward* as it were, just does not seem to be something to be desparate about. There must be something else which is a core issue bothering you. Perhaps redefining your body-mind connection could be as simple as taking a piece of paper and making two columns, one for the positive behaviors, the other for behaviors you want to change. Obviously you have also been dealing with symptoms of hypothyroidism and so having now begun treatment for that, it too will affect your mix of emotions and physical feedback from your body.

I would suggest incorporating some other positive habits into your routine to shake up the mix so you do not feel so focused on just the lemonade. juicing in general is very healthy for you and throw in body brushing and Epsom Salt baths. Time outside in the sun, barefeet on the ground, reading some positive material once a day is good. The Joke forum here is nice for a change of pace. Just get more varied in the way you fill the moments of your life and try to find balance in what you are doing to treat yourself well. As you begin to feel better about the CHOICES you are making, your body and mind will become healthier and the repercussions of your choices will cause you less anxiety.

Be happy, be well,
Zoe

-_-

I don't really know what to tell you. But it sounds like you replaced your other addictions with fasting. Possibly an eating disorder too because you fast and then binge. Try googling "Binge eating disorder" because it sounds like that.

In your case the hypothyroidism might actually be fixable. All that fasting slows your thyroid down and does kill your metabolism, which would make the numbers on the lab work show "hypo". Maybe eating normal/healthy and doing a do a few Liver Flushes it might make it work normal again.

A raw diet might help and make you feel "cleaner" if that's what you're going for with doing the Master-Cleanse so many times.

why do you do it?

feels good?
to lose weight?
detox?

look at why you have this urge.