Hello all,
My first message on here in a bid to try and get to the bottom on my anxiety and insomnia. I've given up going to my doctors because they don't seem to have a clue what's going on. I should add I'm from the UK. I've been back and forth to the doctors about my GAD for the past 3 years or so and I've been offered SSRIs on many occasions, tried them then subsequently decided they were not for me. It's been the process throughout this years of trying medications then not continuing the course because I really don't like the side affects. Insomnia has been a big issue in making my anxiety worse, it seems to amplify the anxiety if I don't sleep well the night before. Lately it has got worse and so has the GAD. I'm not so anxious I can't leave the house but I do get stressed very very easily. I find public places, noises and generally just interacting with people at times very stressful, also driving can be an issue at times. I guess you could say I look calm and chilled but in reality inside I'm very stressed/nervous. So what have I done to get to the root cause? Well I do know the emotional problems, career, money etc can all play apart of our wellbeing so I'm not ignorant to those facts. My issue is the anxiety feels internal as soon as I wake. I feel that it is a biology/genetic problem rather than maybe a psychology problem. I say this because I've had CBT before and it did nothing for me. If anything talking therapy makes it worse and I feel as though I have to create problems in order to justify my anxiety. The answer is I don't know why I am anxious. I just am.
I find the anxiety hard to deal with aswell as the other symptoms or co existing "disorders" I've got going on. Depression comes up every few days, not severe but enough to be very down and demotivated in a very "what's the point?" mindset. I've been to the doctors to check for adrenal problems and all have come back normal. The insomnia at the moment is what I really want to sort out as that seems to have the worse knock on effect of my overall wellbeing. I can never sleep before 12-1 and only get roughly on good nights 6 hours some nights I won't get to sleep until 2-3am and wake up anxious at 7-8am (cortisol perhaps?). After this point I won't be able to sleep again until the next night (same cycle repeated) I've slept like this for years and don't remember the feeling of full 8 hours. Also I should say that I do have ADD tendencies and even though I can be demotivated I tend to devote mental space always to a one hobby/interest. Song loops have been very common for me (repeating the same phrase over and over hearing the song as perfectly as played). I guess all of this plays apart in the overall pattern of sleep, its just finding out what I can do to improve all of these symptoms. Anway, I'm sorry to ramble and hope you can give some insight. I'm happy to answers questions to give a clear picture as I understand the above is abi info overload- Cheers Jason