Wolfhound, I am very sorry that you had such devastating experiences and, yes......prolonged trauma (particularly, sexual abuse) has an extreme impact upon how a victim views the world, and themselves.  It causes a host of personal issues if the experiences are left unprocessed.  The inability to trust that a counseling therapist isn't going to harm us is very, very common, and it's something that you can absolutely overcome.

Online support is helpful, but it will not take you on guided journeys of recovery and healing in a healthy, personal, and SAFE way.  In online life, communication is often misinterpreted, misdirected, and misunderstood.  Many, many "services" are offered out there that are 100% unsafe and developed by scam artists.  The best option would be face-to-face counseling with a mature and referred therapist.  The best way to find one of these folks is by calling your local domestic violence or rape hotline. 

The counselor cannot, by Law, disclose any information that you discuss with anyone else without your written permission.  This is a legal obligation.  And, there may come a day that your family needs to know what happened, particularly if it was a family member or family friend that abused you. 

But, most importantly, getting to the point where you understand that you did not do anything to deserve what was done to you is best guided by a professional.  A trained trauma counselor knows the language, the brain chemistry, and the behavioral patterns that are created by traumas and how to overcome them.  Anxiety and depression are also very common in victims of traumatic childhoods and these issues can be managed through strong counseling therapy. 

You are, indeed, priceless in this vast Universe, and I would encourage you to set aside the fear and make the calls to get a list of names in your area of counselors that are recommended.  Most of them work on sliding scales if you don't have health insurance.  If you are concerned about the family finding out because you are covered under the parental health insurance, there are ways to deal with that.  THEY aren't allowed to know what's what, either - that you are over the age of legal consent makes it virtually impossible for them to find out about your therapy.  You are worth the effort and I hope that you take the steps to get some counseling

www.thehotline.org

www.rainn.org

Best wishes and brightest healing blessings to you.