Turning 15 I was going out with my boyfriend who was 18. We lasted 3y/6m. Turing those three years we planed a baby 3 times!!! Each time the first at 15, he said we couldn't afford it :( I cried my eyes out more and more it was me, my body going they this not him!! Well I'm not happy about it and it took soooo long for it to not be in my head every time I saw a child. I left him just before my 18 bday.
I swore I'd never have an abortion again.

At 19 I was attending college while I was in class my sister called me hysterically crying told my my dad had just been taken away from The police. He had a warrant. I left right away and tried my hardest to be strong for my sister while we figured out what we were going to do since we lived together. The house was my uncles and my cousin and his wife and kid lived there. His white put our stuff out in the rain. I was furious.

I had been seeing a guy for a month but stopped seeing him just 3 days before we became homeless.

I was forced to call him for help. My sister and I lived there for 3 months and only had sex with him 5 times.
I was pregnant and he purposely cured In me I just could not keep it.

He did drugs and I was depressed. So I took the pill. And became more depressed after that. I couldn't see babies without feeling uncomfortable. Again I promised I'd keep my next pregnancy.


Now 23 moved back to California 5 months here now and pregnant from this guy I just been seeing for three months. I had left him 3 weeks before it found out I was pregnant. When I did I told him and was happy. We tried working it out but he irritates me and even at 27 he lives like a teenager. He works as a bouncer 2 nights out of the week, payed under the table and sometimes doesn't get payed and tells him self he's ok. He never had food in the fridge, he's starve. He's an ex marine and doesn't get gov check like his friends do.

He has choked me out and hit me and that's why I stopped seeing him for good.

I'm now on my 5 th abortion, I have an appointment.

Do you have any advice for me?

i don't have a job
I can't get one because of my criminal background plus have a warrant in my home town and I don't see any other way that I can accomplish all of this.

I feel this is the best thing for me.

If I give it up for adoption I couldn't live with that either, me abused as a child my head would drive me crazy and the baby's dad isn't stable either

he just got evicted and I'm not seeing him. Do you have any advice?

This is so hard to do all over again :(